My life externally, is slowly beginning to change, and it is a result of me changing on the inside.
It has been a simple perspective shift that has allowed me to see my external environment differently.
I am finding that I have a deeper gratitude for what already exists. I knew I needed to move closer towards this. I could view it while I was in the chaos and destruction of change. My head would remind me that I needed deeper gratitude. I could see that I wasn’t giving thanks to all that I have present in my life. I was merely looking at what I didn’t have, or what I wanted to change.
For example, Neil gives me pretty much anything I want. I’m not a materialistic person by any means, so its not like I go shopping on his Credit Card. But I know, if I want anything, I could ask him, and he’d almost give it to me.
He pays the mortgage, he pays the utilities, he pays for the greater percentage of food, all meals out, gas for the car I drive. He pretty much covers it all. And here’s me – saying – “I’m not happy”. Whilst from the outside looking in, one can judge me to be spoilt, lucky, what do I have to be unhappy about, ‘hard done by – as Neil once said. And yes, I would agree with you. But it is also VERY important to not undermine, the importance of acknowledging how we feel, despite our environments.
Once upon a time, I had a female client when I was a Personal Trainer. I viewed her as having the world. She was a well educated psychologist. Her husband was (is) a world renowned Author, earning money beyond what most would know, and she was well taken care of. She owned a Mini Cooper, she shopped regularly at lululemon and other high end stores. She practiced Yoga daily, had a wealth of friends and family, and basically lived this charmed life, by my judgement. But little did I know, she wasn’t happy. Some years later I learnt that tragically, she took her own life. She’d become depressed and felt she was a burden on her husband and those loved ones around her.
This story is a prime example of how we can so easily negate how we are feeling deep down, despite our personal life circumstances.
I believe one of the challenges of our time, is living in this materialistic world, where we are buying more and more things, to fill the void within us. We pass our emotions off, saying #firstworldproblems, and compare what we have to Joe Bloggs down the road, reminding ourselves we have more than most. Which may be true, but we fail to acknowledge that deep yearning within us, that needs our attention dearly.
Without our attention, we continue to fill our “god made hole with god knows what” – to quote my counselling teacher – Deborah Womack.
I have been listening to Dr Wayne Dyer speak all morning – and if you’re not aware of his teachings, best you introduce yourself to him. Sadly he left his body last week, moving on to his next adventure – which he was very excited about. He has left a legacy behind him, so you can still awaken your soul by listening and watching. Wayne spent one year, practicing detachment. Letting go of those material things in his life, that took him further away from himself.
He says “we enter this life with nothing, NoThing, and we leave with nothing, NoThing”.
Notice when we let go of our favorite possessions, food or other, how we might feel. We can distract ourselves SO greatly by focusing on items outside of ourselves.
So to come back to what I was saying, I could distract myself by looking at my external situation; Neil supports my life, and pays for most of my expenses, and use my ego to make myself feel temporarily better, or I can acknowledge how I’m really feeling underlying this, and explore, what is the real reason I am unhappy?
This was the journey I chose to make.
I have been acknowledging my sadness, which turned into grief, which for me, has turned into a sore throat, and coughing at night. When we don’t release our emotions completely, they get trapped in our bodies, and we unconsciously chose to release them that way, ie – this cold I have created.
If we all began to turn our attention inwards, to that inner calling, those deep desires, the language of the soul, we would embark of the greatest journey to date. We would connect with something greater than ourselves, and flow in our purpose of life, without effort, with grace & divinity.
It may start with a choice to detach from your addictions and material desires, it may start with a meditation practice. However you choose to start. Start.
No big things are created without one small step towards it.