The power of YES, in manifesting your dreams

As this blog names suggests, I wanted to share a story about what saying YES to your goals + dreams really means, share the process and the fears that can potentially pop up when we step up to say YES to the life we want.

Here we go;

I had a great lesson recently.  It is regarding abundance, manifestations & desires.  I received the opportunity to fly to Canada for 1 week, with 1 weeks notice.

My initial reaction was = CRAZY!!  But this is my life.  Crazy and spontaneous is exactly the way I like it, so I’d asked for this!

Neil (a previous romance, who I wasn’t over, who pulled on my heart strings like crazy, who lived in Canada) said to me;
“if you can find a return flight to Canada for 2K, I’ll fly you over for my 30th birthday!”

IMG_5482

“Deal.”  was my response.

I called my travel agent Lucy, at Flight Centre straight away, to tell her my story.  Straight away she was online checking flights.  She found one with China Air for $2100.

“Do you want me to book it? 

“Um, let me check with Neil first”.  I wanted to confirm he was really THAT serious, as his request was only via Viber.

“Ok, let me see if I can hold it for you.  Yep, I can only hold it until tomorrow 5pm.  Will you confirm with me tomorrow, if you want to go ahead?  How exciting!”  Lucy replied.

Neil had gone to bed on his side of the world, so I had to wait patiently until the next morning to call him.

MORNING
Me to Neil.  “Are you serious about me coming over, because I found a flight!”

“Yeah, what do you think, do you want too?”

“YEAH!”

So now that that’s clear, I need to arrange the details.  Work, Flights etc…

WORK
I ring Jess (my Manager at work), to explain my story and request my leave, to leave in ONE WEEK.  Keep in mind here, that at work we were very tightly staffed AND a colleague was already granted leave for 3 weeks during this time!  What was my possibility going to be?
“So um, you know how I’m going to Canada for my working holiday next year, well Neil, this guy I love, well, he wants to fly me over for his birthday, like next week, and, well, can I take time off work in like a weeks time?”

“Wow!  Absolutely, we can make that happen.  We’ll just look at the rosters and see what we can do!”

Ok cool, so the work thing is now sorted.  Now to call Lucy and confirm my ticket.  I thought I’d ask Lucy about changing the dates a little, because in my haste to search dates, I hadn’t really looked at my work schedule, I was more concerned with finding a 2K flight.  She checked out some alternatives, but discovered that overnight, all flights had gone UP an extra $1500!!  Not mine, because it had been held & secured.  Talk about bloody luck!

I confirm with Lucy that this was going ahead and Neil is paying.  After hanging up, I follow her email prompts to pay using his Credit Card. Because I was using his Canadian Credit Card, the Australian payment page was giving me a declined message.  His card wouldn’t work in Australia.  I call Lucy back, she suggested he could pay via BPAY.  She gives me the codes, and I contact Neil and ask him to give this way a go.
Declined.
On the phone with Lucy again, two further suggestions.
Over the phone & bank transfer.
As I am about to give Lucy Neils’ CC digits, I felt prompted to ask her;
“I’m ok to travel aren’t I? My passport is valid until November this year,  I’m still good right?”

“Noooooo” she replies.  “You can’t travel with less than 6 months validity on your passport!”

“Whatdyamean, I can’t fly with less than 6 months validity, what’s the purpose of an expiration date on a passport, if you can’t fly up until it expires?”

“I’m not 100% sure why, but I know you can’t travel.  Maybe call the embassy and double check.  You can order an emergency passport”.

This is the point where I begin to ask myself;
– should I really be going
– why don’t I just wait until I go properly next year
– I’ll have more time to arrange my passport
– probably wasn’t meant to happen anyway
– I’m not paying for an emergency passport
– what a crazy idea – it was fun to think about & explore…

This is where my fear, rears its doubt & fearful reasoning…  

This is the main crux of my story.  That point, or threshold where we’re likely SO familiar.
The ego mind that is telling us that our dreams were just that.  A dream.  A nice idea and a fictional reality to indulge in.

Where we tell ourselves – ‘I could never do that – that’s crazy!’  

That point of reasoning where we back down from that very thing that we want, when it’s almost within reach, when moving forward means stepping up into potential discomfort and GROWTH and OWNING what we want.

That’s right OWNING your dreams.

THE TURNING POINT
I call Neil, feeling a little defeated, like something has just died inside me.  I explain to him about my passport & how I couldn’t travel.  Here’s what he said.

“Just get a new one.”

Simple.

Unattached to my story, my emotion, my thoughts.  ‘Just get a new one!’

My story spills out of my mouth;
“blah blah blah money, time, passport, how, money blah blah blah” (you get my jist, you heard it all above.)

“Don’t worry about it baby.  I’ll pay for it.  Call the travel agent, book the ticket, apply for a new passport, get your bum here, it’ll be fine.”

I hop off the phone, feeling like I’ve been pushed to my edges.  My story has been blasted to smithereens and I’ve now got no excuse in the book, to stop me from going to Canada in 6 days time.  6 days! A passport in 6 days!

PASSPORT
I call the embassy.  They spell out the steps required to order an emergency passport in simple black & white.  Simple.  It’s actually really simple.  Today is Wednesday.  I calculate that I can head into the city Thursday afternoon to order my passport, pick it up Tuesday afternoon, then fly to Canada Wednesday.  I’m not leaving the courier to chance.  No way – I’m picking this puppy up myself!

PAYING FOR THE FLIGHT
It’s now 12:30pm, and I start work at 1pm.  I have 30 mintues to drive to work & 4.5hrs to pay for my ticket.  Should be easy.

I’m on the phone to Lucy again.  This time we’re trying Neil’s Credit Card payment over the phone.
Declined.
What!!!
My ego speaks up again;
– maybe you’re not meant to be going
– if we pull out now, we’ll be safe, you won’t have to stress about an emergency passport.   Shhhhhhh I tell it.

Lucy asks me if I can pay.  Sadly that isn’t an option at the moment.  I ask her about the bank transfer option she’d mentioned previously. Her Manager had removed pulled this off the table, saying the funds wouldn’t clear fast enough from Canada in time to pay for the ticket.

My options were out!

I’ve now left for work, driving, trying to figure out what I can do.  Who can I borrow $2000 from?  Who asks people for this kind of money??  How bad do I want to go to Canada for my dears birthday?  I wanna go.  Bad!

A name appears in my minds eye.  Jules.

DEFINITION
Jules: noun
  Your nearest and dearest bestie.  Your nearest and dearest bestie who has just had a baby.  Your nearest and dearest bestie who has just had a baby and has a 3 year old toddler.  Your nearest and dearest bestie who has just had a baby, has a 3 year told toddler, and has just purchased her first family home with her partner.

Could I really be so cheeky to ask her to borrow this money?  But it’s just until funds clear from Canada.  But I still have to ask the question. It’s NEVER comfortable asking anybody for money.  Coffee money.  Lunch money.  Let alone a $2000 ticket to Canada!

I have Eddie Murphys impression of Bill Cosby playing in my head.  “Neeeed the money, to buy the ticKET!  Get the money, to get the ticKET!”  I call Jules, and I tell her my story, I ask if she can lend me the money to buy the ticKET.  (without the Bill Cosby impersonation).  I can tell that she wants to help me, but know it’s a loaded question.  This is confirmed because she needs to speak to her partner, to get the all clear.

10 MINUTES PASS

I’ve arrived at my destination, and I’m walking from my car into work.  Jules has called back.  She’s spoken with her partner, and they’ve agreed they will help me, but need to know that the money is going to make it’s way straight back to them.
I feel my Solar Plexus.
I get this.
It’s a lot of money to request, give, and trust for anyone.  Let alone a new family with 2 kids and a brand new mortgage.

I’m at work now.
I ask Jules if she would kindly call Lucy for me.  Not having explained to Lucy what has actually happened in the past 30 minutes.

5 minutes later a text comes through from Jules.

YOU’RE GOING TO CANADA!!

Holy Shit!

The rest of the story falls into place from here.  I got my passport easy.  I got my shifts covered easy.  Everybody at work said YES to covering me.  Another dear friend even volunteered to swap her shifts at work so she could drive me to the airport!  Easy.  Everything was EASY! I said YES.

The universe said YES.

In summary, the point of my story sharing, is to illustrate that crucial crux point.  That sticky threshold between choosing to stay where we are, or choosing to step up into something new.

Do you really want your dreams and desires in life, stepping up to the call and taking action?

OR

Do you just keep doing what you’ve always done, continuing to achieve the same outcome?

I’ve shared this story with a few friends, and their response has been one of awe & inspiration!  I hope by sharing it here with you, it will inspire you to notice your sticky points, step up to OWN your dreams and desires also.

Neil & I
Neil & I

They are your god-given (or spirit, universe, soul….) birthright.  They are available to you right NOW!

Sending you much LOVE

Love & Marriage

Love & Marriage, do they really go together like a horse & carriage?

I don’t know, but what I do know is, I’ve recently had a perspective shift around this whole marriage thing.

Growing up with a single Mum who never married until semi recently, I never got the whole marriage thing.

I didn’t understand why people had this deep desire to be married with the house & while picket fence.

I’ve never dreamt of ‘the day’, the dress, the bridesmaids…

I’ve dreamt of adventuring the world, making life up as I go, not being bound to anyone thing or place, able to pack up and move as I choose.  To have FREEDOM.

Sure I’ve wanted to meet someone with the same life dreams as me.  To explore, to travel, to laugh, to love, to live a rich & meaningful existence and make a difference on this planet, but weddings & marriage…. Pfffftttt

BUT, recently, something has shifted in me, and maybe I’m a bit slow, maybe everyone knew this key ingredient before I did?

I’ve learnt that, when you meet someone, that really freakin special someone who you just adore, a person who you feel such a strong connection and knowing about them that you’ve never felt before.  A person who shakes your world and you know you’re never going to quite be the same, someone who you just want to give the world to.  You want to give them YOU, because you know that’s the deepest gift you can give someone, then, this whole marriage thing, begins to make a little more sense.

See I had this idea that marriage was something you DID.  I’ve heard the stories, “Oh we’d been together long enough, it was time”, “It is for the kids really”, “It was the right thing to do”.  So how is that appealing?!!

But what I’m learning/feeling, that maybe it was originally born from truly meeting a love, and wanting to sacredly gift yourself to them, a symbol of honoring the being that they are, and that you are choosing to come together to create the wonder of life TOGETHER.  Maybe the materialism of it today has taken away its deepest meaning?

I was asked the about weddings the other day by a friends, she said, What would you want?
Pfffftt & blank face, I think was my response.
She laughed and suggested, “barefoot on a beach”.
I laughed back, and said, “Pretty much!”

So, whilst my sights aren’t set on a wedding, in sacred ritualistic gift to the one that I love, I would give my heart in ceremony to declare that I would love, care & support him until such a time where our souls contract says its time to part.

Might not be as ‘romantic’ as the TV shows & magazines, but its real and for me, a grand step in opening to this greater existence called life.

(I might add, that after my Pfffftt/blank face, I did also say – I’d have to talk with him and see what he would want.  I believe your ceremony should be co-creative).

learning about the beauty of you, through others…

Part of what I have always visioned, is using my collection of journals to write my posts or potentially a book in the future.

I have this vision of writing snippets of my past, typing word by word accounts of a ‘day in the life’ of.  Perhaps with the the intention of having that story resonate with individuals – who knows?  It’s not up to me right.

So on this day 16 May 2009 here is what I wrote in my journal;

“I’ve had a lovely day so far.  Wake, sleep, wake, eat, read, sleep.  Bit of stretching, washing, cry.  That was an interesting one.  It’s actually a piece of the puzzle.  All this opening Tom stuff.  I read the Delta Wave Tip Off and she speaks of dealing with our father issues at present.  She goes in instruction of how to have a soul conversation with your father and automatically I think “I can’t do that!”  Not even about not knowing him, but more about how I couldn’t open my heart to him.  And from what I’ve learnt, this is where my relationship with Males began.  I feel hurt/sad, like he didn’t want me.  This part of me feels so sad.  So hurt she missed out on her Dad’s love.  (maybe why I put on my Smurf t-shirt?).  These past few days also, I’ve been holding Tom in the distance.  I think of him though I am still feeling pretty vulnerable.  I couldn’t’ see him when I walked past just now.  I would love to visit him, though all these thoughts arise like, will he want to see me?  What if he doesn’t?  I even told myself on Wednesday when he finished work, that he’d decided he didn’t want to follow on with our relationship anymore.  I think I need to be mindful of while I’m in this space to not put him in my fathers role.  I still am not clear what exactly Tom’s role is right now?  Whether what we have is Physical, Emotional or Spiritual.  The later two definitely.  But perhaps a different Physical.  I think I am simply scared.  Some parts are tough.  Like only seeing each other after work.  As he does his thing outside of that.  I feel frustrated as after work is my gym time.  I’m compromising.  YUM VANILLA BEAN”

My lessons and reflections from this writing piece…

– Be mindful of projecting stories onto loved one’s in life.  ie – My father didn’t love me, therefore you don’t love me.  Take ownership for your own story.
– Journal it out.  Write about how you’re feeling.  If that feels to hard, imagine writing about a character.  Give your character a persona and imagine how he/she might feel or react.  Really own all facets of emotions.

When I was first connecting to my anger – it felt so foreign and so I couldn’t connect with it.  I imagined my anger looked like a little girl (the cute girl from Monsters Inc) and nicknamed her Dotti.  Dotti had cyclone anger!  It was easier for me to say that Dotti was angry before I learnt to say that I felt angry.

All relationships are AMAZING teachers, if you haven’t already heard the concept of them being a mirror for yourself – you’re going to hear it now.

What you see in another person, is in yourself.

Whether what you see is beautiful, challenging or other, it is a reflection of YOU.  Notice your thoughts towards another person, then ask yourself, where is that in me?  Watch what you want to own and not own, it’s all in you, an opportunity to discover the complexity of you.  We can change how we view our external environment simply by acknowledging our inner.  If you encounter an angry individual, ask yourself where am I angry?  People are simply mirrors to what we need to acknowledge.

flipping perspective, changing narrow into expansive

I had a wonderful chat with a friend this morning.  We sat on the rocks down at Freshwater Beach, and soaked in the magic of where we were.  I said to him, “I just can’t get enough of this, I wish I could dissolve into it”.

We were talking about all things human and experience orientated and the funny old ways in which we will look at life and our experiences.photo

He took the example of the fresh ocean lap pool, and how we might look at it and say “Ooh I bet it’s cold in there”, forgetting to look at all the other elements that exist.  ie there were two other swimmers enjoying their laps, there were free lanes available, the sky was nothing but blue, it was fresh & invigorating, the morning was truly stunning!  One example – but I’m sure we can apply this to any area of our lives.

This reminded me of thoughts I’ve been having about my recently published “Who is Heidi Firth?” story.  Recently I called my Mum to tell her that the story was up on my website – for all to read.  I’d projected how this might potentially land for her, and anybody else that may read it from the small town that I grew up in.  One of the thoughts I’d acknowledged before my call was that the story sounded all bad.  It focused on those “Monumental Moments” that had shaped me to make the person I’d become in the world.  But these past few days, I’ve been thinking about how I failed to share the really great stuff.  The stuff we often forget about and forget to have gratitude for.

So this mornings catch up chat with Dan, has inspired me to wipe the slate clean.  I am going to remove the original “Who is Heidi Firth?” story, and write the new revised one.  I’m going to flip the perspective, because that story is OLD news now, and not who I am today.

Time to Inspire & Be Inspired. xo

 

Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

You have brains in your head.

dr-seuss-book-cover1You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself
You’re on your own.  And you know what you know.any directions you choose.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets.  Look ’em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you’ll head straight out of town.
It’s opener there
in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen’and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don’t worry.  Don’t stew.
Just go right along.  You’ll start happening too.
OH! THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Whenever you fly, you’ll be best of the best
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t
I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.
You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun
Un-sluping yourself
is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted.  But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…
or right-and-three quarters? Or, maybe not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.  The Waiting Place…
… for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go!  There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored.  There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame!  You’ll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t.
Because, sometime, they won’t.
i’m afraid that some times
you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win
’causer you’ll play against you.
All alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re along, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things tat scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
through the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike.
And I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step,
Step with care and great tact
ad remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 per cent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So…
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So… get on your way!

today’s lesson… accepting love

Since going live on this site and Facebook, it has drawn out a part of me.   A scared timid part that was hiding. She’s so cleaver at hiding, I didn’t even know she was there.  Maybe she was playing hide and seek and forget to tell me the rules?

I’d had a bit of a theme running in my background about being alone, actually if I’m really honest – about not feeling worthy enough to be loved.  I had an amazing acupuncture session with Milton Lee last Thursday – and at the tail end of that session the water works exploded.  He’d said that my heart & kidneys were not communicating with each other, that my heart was nervous.  By the end of my time on his table, I was in tears having acknowledged this old untruth that I, many years ago had chosen to believe.

It’s funny you know – because it just goes to show the power of the human mind.  I, adult self, Heidi, know this NOT to be true.  I am surrounded by beautiful like minded people daily.  I am very blessed.   But this background belief, running so far from my consciousness, shapes the *reality* of the world I live in.

Ok – so it’s been on my mind – how much I would really love to meet someone, fall in love – and continue a bliss filled life together with them.  I mean, I’m 35 years old now – this can’t be an unreasonable request can it?  Friends around me are living it – why can’t I?  “Because you’re not worthy of it” says the unconscious little voice somewhere in my brain.  BOOM… Look what I am creating!

So where to from here, from this acknowledgement.  Make a choice to change.  But how?  Noticing how I choose to show up in each moment of my day.  Who am I being?  What decisions am I making?  Accepting people’s love and support.

It started last night with a visit to a friend.  As I arrived she’d made me a hot water bottle and greeted me with a warm hug, and I openly accepted it.  This morning, a Personal Training session with a Trainer to have her carry my towel & bottle from equipment to equipment.  Mildly uncomfortable, but hints of warmth and support.  Forgetting my wallet this morning and needing to ask a friend for a coffee, again a little uncomfortable – but if roles were reversed – what would I do for that friend?!

So the answer?  I don’t need to know it all right now, just notice in each moment, how can I choose to accept something different for myself?

To accept love.

Welcome!!

You’ve stumbled upon my very first blog for my very first website.

I have decided that the time is now to get writing and spreading whatever it is that I’m meant to be spreading.  This website has been created without effort and so I have figured that the whole venture should remain the same – without effort.

You will notice that my website is not complete.  It is not ‘perfect’.  In fact, there are bits n pieces everywhere, but you know, that’s ok.  It felt overwhelming to me to get it right before I started writing, before I went live, so the other night I said to my friend, I just want it live.  I want to start.  I have the sneaky suspicion that he thinks I’m nuts.

At this stage in the game, I can’t define what it is that I do.  I know my outcome, but to call it something, seems to shrink the very possibility of the outcome, but at the end of the day, it’s not about what I can do, it’s about what you can do.

Somewhere on this website I have started to write my story, again this is incomplete, but it’s a start.

My intention is that through telling my story, it will inspire you to create change for yourself in your life, whatever shape or form.  It might be to have a better relationship with yourself, or maybe one with your food, or to figure out why the same experience keeps showing up for you time and time again… There are lots of different paths that my journey has been delving me into.

So I’m going to let this have a life of its own and see where it takes me.

If you’re intrigued, follow me and see what happens, it can be like one of those choose your path books that were available when we were kids.  Which way should she go, path A or path B?

So far I know this is about branding me, who I am, and what I’ve done in life so far, so there won’t be any boundaries between personal and professional.  As far as I’m concerned they’re one in the same.  How we do one thing, we do all things.  I’m not going to wear my masks for one job and take them off for another, that’s not living an authentic life to me.

So go ahead, click the follow button, and if you have any thoughts/comments I’d love to hear them.  Let’s make this interactive and fun and see where it takes us.

Much love & health,

Heidi