My experience with Landmark & why I’ve come home to NZ

So I’m in New Zealand after a whirlwind of events sees me here.

About a week ago, I returned home to Victoria BC, after spending a weekend in Vancouver attending a 5 day course in the name in The Landmark Forum.

To my knowledge, millions of people around the world have participated in this course, so you may have even heard of it?

Working for lululemon athletica, it is something that every employee gains the opportunity to attend as it is seen as something of value for one’s personal development. Chip Wilson, founder of lululemon took away grand insights into the way he was as a person, which then affected how he ran his company. Since then, lululemon employees across the globe get to experience this course after having worked for the company for 8 months.

Lets cut to the chase. I was pretty curious about what this was going to offer me. After having completed 2 intensive diplomas – each 2-4 years in duration to complete, one in Transformational Life Coaching & the other in Energy Healing – I knew I couldn’t and didn’t know it all, but was naturally curious – what would this course offer me?

Landmark breaks life down into a really simple structure, which make you reflect on yourself. It invites you to look at all the stories you’ve created, which have made up your life, and ask yourself “what is really real here”?

I got this part. I’ve been self reflecting for a good 10 years now, and know myself pretty thoroughly. But this method that they were teaching, was just so bang on, that one had to ask, well, what really IS real?

I have come to know that I am Heidi. Maybe not from this planet, maybe from some other light galaxy, incarnated into a human form in this lifetime to support people waking up to who they are. I appear light, bright, happy & personable. My purpose in life is to show others that they are their own gurus, their own healers so to speak. I knew that heading into this course.

Coming out of it on Tuesday night. I was absolutely that light being. Feeling like I could inspire change with a single conversation. Feeling like I was a world changer. Which isn’t a terrible thing, however that power can contain ego if one is not to careful. Posting on social media like a show off, running around your day like a mad fool, touching and inspiring all who subconsciously call for your help.

I returned to work on Wednesday, and was floating like a newly awakened being.  I initiated very real conversations everywhere I stepped. A guest would comment on her weight, and I wouldn’t hesitate to get into the nitty gritty of what was happening and have her share what was in her way. You begin to notice how random strangers will drop the tinniest of hints which are a cry for help. They may not be aware of it, but to the listening ears, you hear every word & tone.

I had a short shift that day where I felt like I was on fire.  Chatting to colleagues and guests, left right and centre. Stirring up change everywhere I went & with every conversation. I respected those who didn’t engage in conversation, and those that did – held the conversation as long as invited by them.  It all felt very free flowing and intuitive.  My lunch break rolled around and I suddenly wasn’t feeling well. I actually felt like I was going to die. Intense I know! So I called Neil and asked him to pick me up as this was how I was feeling.
> I won’t elaborate on this story & feeling of dying just yet. It leads into another existential story, – I’ll share it another time, or save this for myself.

Fast forward to the next few days. What goes up, must come down. There is a balance to life, a polarity to everything. Hot/Cold, Light/Dark, Happy/Sad – you get it…

With such an inspired high, there had to be the equivalent low. What I unknowingly had tapped into were memories from my past. My early childhood past. Now these are not horrible by any means. But lets just remind ourselves here, how does a child react when they are upset? What if he/she doesn’t get their own way? They throw a tantrum right? They express their anguish fully without hesitation! Lets just leave that example a seed of what was to come.

About 2-3 days of exploding like a child. Anger, Fear, Frustration, Sadness, Grief… No ego restrictions on releasing the ‘pain’ of my childhood. I didn’t know what was happening, and neither did my dear partner Neil.

He had come to his wits end with my behavior, and didn’t know what to do with me. He was scared & frightened – and understandingly so.  He’d spoken to his friends and they advised him to simply take me to the nearest hospital – get me dosed up on medication.

Neil knew I wouldn’t want that, so swallowed his pride (I imagine?) and called my Mum at home in NZ. Fast forward this part of the story, and here I am, with Neil & Mum, in Te Awamutu, New Zealand.

They have both been super worried about me, and want to know tangible results about why I acted out of character, so yesterday took me to a local Dr who listened to this story. He sent me for blood tests, in which the results should come through tomorrow some time.

There are so many other parts to this story which I will share in time, if the time is right.

Parts where I could hear various people, living & passed over, speaking through Neil to me. Lucid dream states where I saw various Spirit Animals show up to support the release of our pain. Even in awake states, various animals showed up to help us move through stuff. Animals such as Squirrels, Raccoons, Ravens, Dogs, a marvelous spider who weaved his magical web to protect our home, and even a Cougar making itself seen throughout Victoria that weekend.

I thought I was a shaman, moving various rocks and such around my home, orchestrating a change in the world, and a healing of the planet. I chanted, sang, drummed and played my Spirit Flute as needed, and heard the neighbors drum & tap in support of something they’d long wished for. I dreamt that I was one of 4 shamans overseen by one head shaman who would eventually invite us to his home in California to discuss these dreams & experiences, and go through an initiation process.

It has been a wild ride, and that description doesn’t even cut it.

The human brain is wild and mysterious, and after this experience, I really don’t think it should be pushed the way that it was at Landmark. I am speaking for myself exclusively. I cannot speak for others.

My takeaway from this, is DO NOT hurry your personal development! Be gentle, be compassionate, be nurturing, be LOVING. LOVE yourself as you would love another, how you would want to be loved in the world. Be that & that is all that you need to be. LOVE.

As a side note here; if you are experiencing any challenges based on dealing with your past, please reach out to me for support.  I understand how confusing it can be & how those around you may not understand.  I am available via Skype & Email at this stage.  heidi.firth | heidi.firth11@gmail.com

My experience at The Landmark Forum

Why I question EVERYTHING!

For the love of god!

Question EVERYTHING!

A few conversations have popped up at work recently where I hear people answer;

“they said we can’t”
“we’re not allowed too”, or variations of these sentences.

I always like to reply back to this statement with;

“why?”
“who is ‘they’?”
“what is the reason?”

Working within a company who values Entrepreneurship – I don’t hear entrepreneurship within these words.

I very rarely use this word to describe someone, unless they are a truly awakened individual, inspiring change and walking their talk – leading by example.

I believe one who is, to be a free thinker, one who lives outside the box, one who doesn’t conform to the norm, who makes their own rules as they go and is not afraid of what anybody else thinks about what they do.  They stand out from the crowd, they will be the leader out in front – making the noise – pissing others off – or raising the crowd to cheers!

I guess why I’m bring this topic up, is I am finding myself beginning to think like this now.  I question everything, and agree with very little these days.  I am not so quick to agree for the sake of being pleasant and keeping the boat afloat, I am becoming more and more comfortable with disagreeing and expressing my view on why I don’t agree.

I have been finding it interesting, observing myself standing out more & more, shining my sense of freedom for being able to chose.  I still feel I have some final shackles to shake, but the light is at the end of the tunnel of this awakening journey – I can see it.  It is in the form of Bali – in one months time.

This is THE awakening process – awakening to our freedom and free thought.  There are conspiracy theories of mind control through the media, food & every other means.  Our senses have been dormant for centuries and now with the awakening of souls across the globe, there is a grand shift concurring.  There is no denying it.  It is seen in Wayne Dyers’ Movie – The Shift, Blogs & You Tube videos across the internet, social media feeds – books, banners, posters, serendipitous moments.

The information is available to all who are ready.  It only takes a simple question, to align your intention to attract in the very tools that you need.

To question anything in life, paves way for a fork in our road.  Keep taking the path you’ve always taken, and remain safe, comfortably uncomfortable.  Or take the new path, that is unwritten, unexplored, diving deep into the depths of your soul & purpose.  Come head to head with your fears that mask your greatest gifts and deepest desires.  Live a life so fulfilling you cannot even begin to imagine it!

I took that turn, down the unknown path.  It has been dark, uncomfortable and confronting.  Though there is a knowing in my heart & soul that it is RIGHT.  Nothing can shake this.  I know that I am ploughing my way through the debris that has kept this path hidden, but in time, the light will shine through, brighter than it has every shone before.

I might call this Bali, as my trip is booked & I am off to be embraced by her again, but this is merely just the beginning!

I will be stepping forth into the unknown, jumping with both feet and arms into the air, calling upon the whole universe to catch me and carry me forward.  I co-create this life with its magic, and know that I have been creativity orchestrated to shine my light, inspiring others to follow.  My life & its design is unique and like no other.  I have a perfect set of circumstances that will support others to open to the gifts within theirs.

As I have written before;

“The journey inward may not be a comfortable one, but it sure beats being unhappy, and is a heck of a lot more soul satisfying.”

 

Not having a Dad has become my greatest gift

Neils’ Dad has been here visiting for the weekend.  He lives in Campellville, Ontario.

I’ve met him twice before when Neil & I visited for Christmas & the packing down of his Mothers’ Condo in Milton.

He’s a lovely man, a real Dad type.  I guess what other type is there really?  I think I mean that he’s what I imagined a Dad to be like?

I never met my Dad, or ever had a Dad figure in my life.

I’ve learnt that it’s no small thing to have never met your Father, whether you’re a Male or a Female.  Both positions can leave a firm imprint on any Adult during their childhood.  For me, I didn’t know that not having a Father was a different way to grow up, until I got to school.  I succinctly remember being in the playground at 5 years of age, and all the other kids were talking about their Dads.  One of them asked me about mine, I replied “I don’t have one.”  In that moment, at my tender age of 5, I felt a distinct separation from me and them, the other kids.  I took on that there must been something wrong with me, for me to not have a Dad.  Huge Moment.  Huge belief set in place.

That untrue belief, from my innocent mind, set the scene for my life.  “There must be something wrong with me.”

I went on to create a life that set me apart from the rest.  Thinking that I was different from others.

I believe that this incident + running from the pain of Sexual Abuse, has seen me roam the world in search of myself. I wouldn’t have said it at the time, but I guess I was seeking something outside of myself, only to be brought back to myself.  Much like The Alchemist story.  At 20 years old, I sure as hell wasn’t ready to look within.  Years of establishing this belief had become my truth.
I had inner dialogues running of; I’m not worthy, there’s something wrong with me, and nobody loves me.

I ran to binge drinking, crazy partying, pill popping… this eventually turned into obsessive exercise/gym habits, a body building competition, & elimination diets & restrictive eating.  I eventually crashed.  This coincided with delving into myself during a Vision Quest that was a part of my Life Coaching Diploma.  I landed depressed for 2.5 years and had no where to turn, but to myself.  Those days were extremely dark & tough going – I didn’t know if I was going to make it through.  I would dream of not being here, not being a burden to anyone. Though they were shit, I wouldn’t take them back.  I’m a richer, loving, more compassionate person because of coming back to myself.

Not all absent Dad stories are the same.  This one is mine.  It has seen me on a journey of transformation.  Of coming back to who I innately am.  This is all there is.  To know who you are at your core is priceless.  I feel like I have finally arrived at a place where I am me.  Who I was born to be in this world.  I am connected to Source daily & am guided, step by step to take my path of purpose.  I need nothing else.

I now do not feel sad for the Father I never knew, I don’t feel angry towards Steve for what he did.  I look at the upbringing I had with deep gratitude.  I remember my Life Coach said that one day I would be grateful for my pain, and see it as a gift.  I understood it intellectually then, but now feel it as truth.

The anger & pain that I held onto, unconsciously, for years has been greatly released.  I am free from digestive issues, I am free from anxiety & fear based ways of being.  I am free to make decisions lead by my heart and choose a life of freedom.

There is no greater gift than FREEDOM!!  Freedom has been my life mantra, now I feel I embody it, rather than chase it.  Ah ho!

Should I meet my Father
Neil & his Dad

Canada vs Australia vs Bali and The Universal Plan

Summer is slowly on her way out, and Fall is beginning to make his way onto the scene.

It is almost without warning that the long hot days have disappeared, being replaced with continual rain & drizzle.

I feel ripped off!

All the Victorian Canadians are talking about what an awesome Summer it has been, and that we’ve been really lucky.

I don’t share their perspective.

I am grateful, don’t get me wrong.  But I have been spoilt.  Spoilt with the long HOT Summers that Sydney Australia knows too well, and I know full well the anticipation they are feeling right now as they enter their Spring – such enthusiasm to be shedding the brief warm layers they’ve worn over their short cool spell.

Can you tell I miss Australia?

I miss the land down under with its Meat Pies, Vegemite Sandwiches, continual hot hot Summers and warm crystal oceans.  Warm Oceans – now there’s a foreign concept to this side of the planet.  I was never a water baby, but now that that privilege has been removed from me this Summer, I suddenly want to be!

Memories and visions of Australia have been dancing through my minds eye this last week. Rising alongside of the grief I mentioned in my last blog post here.  I can’t tell what this all means.  Part of me thinks I am grieving, letting go of the attachment I have to such a rich sun drenched land.  The other part wonders if this is a sign that I should return?

I know that I am undertaking a new beginning in my life right now.  I know that I am ready to make a home and prepare for work that I need to do in the world.  But right now, the only home that I know is the one within.  The one that I have been fighting to come back to, stronger and stronger everyday, since I embarked on my inner journey in 2005.  Some 10 years ago.

This isn’t a bad thing, don’t get me wrong.  In fact its a fantastic thing!  To know that within you is your home, what can really compare to that?  To feel comfortable in your own skin, wherever you go.  Much like a snail with its house on its back, so are we, with our homes in our hearts.  It seems the further and further we are from ourselves, the more we accumulate in our environments, and the closer and more connected we are to our hearts, the less we need in our environments.

Imagine if we all came from our hearts – how different the world would be.  Not just from a materialistic viewpoint, but literally living from our hearts – being guided by that which knows our path, each and every moment, of every day.

See this is the thing.  My content.  My story that I am sharing to you, really doesn’t matter.  Its simply that, a story. One that my head, my ego has created to entertain my mind, to give it something to do, because if it doesn’t have something to do, then what is there?  Space.  Big ole SPACE.  Space for the Universe to drop right on in with greater insights and meaning than the mind can fathom.

I love reminding myself of this truth.  As it reminds me that there is something far bigger than what we think we are doing.  It reminds me that I am supported beyond measure, that there is a grand plan for me, and if I can just step out of the way, I will be shown this plan, step by step.

I have these words within my meditation shrine;

“What you can plan is to small for you to live”

It reminds me there are far greater things that I am destined for, things that I cannot even fathom!  Which is so freaken exciting!

And so my story, the one that I began writing previously to these words, reads;
“I feel split between being in Canada where my cute boy is, setting up our home & creating a family & life.  Returning to Sydney where I know the sand is warm, golden & the blue skies go on for days.  Travelling to Bali to embark on a type of quest, jump off the metaphorical cliff, and begin to make tracks in the direction of the horizon.  All are beautiful options, and all intrigue and excite me.  Is it possible to have my cake and eat it too?  I am discovering that this is true and absolutely possible, however right now, I feel this split.”

This is my story.  The story my head is filling itself with.  The distraction from the space within that is ready, receptive to its next command from the grand Universe.  I love words.  I love stories.  They are interesting.  They are life.  But when there is work to do, a purpose, the command becomes a greater excitement, fulfillment than the stories we create, share and elaborate on.

Manly Beach

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In case you were wondering what answer landed in the space…

BALI!  Here I come…

What my coughing really means..

My life externally, is slowing beginning to change, and it is a result of me changing on the inside.

It has been a simple perspective shift that has allowed me to see my external environment differently.

I am finding that I have a deeper gratitude for what already exists.  I knew I needed to move closer towards this.  I could view it while I was in the chaos and destruction of change.  My head would remind me that I needed deeper gratitude.  I could see that I wasn’t giving thanks to all that I have present in my life.  I was merely looking at what I didn’t have, or what I wanted to change.

For example, Neil gives me pretty much anything I want.  I’m not a materialistic person by any means, so its not like I go shopping on his Credit Card.  But I know, if I want anything, I could ask him, and he’d almost give it to me.

He pays the mortgage, he pays the utilities, he pays for the greater percentage of food, all meals out, gas for the car I drive.  He pretty much covers it all.  And here’s me – saying – “I’m not happy”.  Whilst from the outside looking in, one can judge me to be spoilt, lucky, what do I have to be unhappy about, ‘hard done by – as Neil once said.  And yes, I would agree with you.  But it is also VERY important to not undermine, the importance of acknowledging how we feel, despite our environments.

Once upon a time, I had a female client when I was a Personal Trainer.  I viewed her as having the world.  She was a well educated psychologist.  Her husband was a world renowned Author, earning money beyond what most would know, and she was well taken care of.  She owned a Mini Cooper, she shopped regularly at lululemon and other high end stores.  She practiced Yoga daily, had a wealth of friends and family, and basically lived this charmed life, by my judgement.  But little did I know, she wasn’t happy.  Some years later I learnt that tragically, she took her own life. She’d become depressed and felt she was a burden on her husband and those loved ones around her.

This story is a prime example of how we can so easily negate how we are feeling deep down, despite our personal life circumstances.

I believe one of the challenges of our time, is living in this materialistic world, where we are buying more and more things, to fill the void within us.  We pass our emotions off, saying #firstworldproblems, and compare what we have to Joe Bloggs down the road, reminding ourselves we have more than most.  Which may be true, but we fail to acknowledge that deep yearning within us, that needs our attention dearly.

Without our attention, we continue to fill our god made hole with god knows what – to quote my counselling teacher – Deborah Womack.

I have been listening to Dr Wayne Dyer speak all morning – and if you’re not aware of his teachings, best you introduce yourself to him.  Sadly he left his body last week, moving on to his next adventure – which he was very excited about.  He has left a legacy behind him, so you can still awaken your soul by listening, watching.  Wayne spent one year, practicing detachment.  Letting go of those material things in his life, that took him further away from himself.

He says “we enter this life with nothing, NoThing, and we leave with nothing, NoThing”.

Notice when we let go of our favorite possessions, food or other, how we might feel.  We can distract ourselves SO greatly by focusing on items outside of ourselves.

So to come back to what I was saying, I could distract myself by looking at my external situation; Neil supports my life, and pays for most of my expenses, and use my ego to make myself feel temporarily better, or I can acknowledge how I’m really feeling underlying this, and explore, what is the real reason I am unhappy?

This was the journey I chose to make.

I have been acknowledging my sadness, which turned into grief, which for me, has turned into a sore throat, and coughing at night.  When we don’t release our emotions completely,  they get trapped in our bodies, and we unconsciously chose to release them that way, ie – this cold I have created.

If we all began to turn our attention inwards, to that inner calling, those deep desires, the language of the soul, we would embark of the greatest journey to date.  We would connect with something greater than ourselves, and flow in our purpose of life, without effort, with grace & divinity.

It may start with a choice to detach from your addictions and material desires, it may start with a meditation practice.  However you choose to start.  Start.

No big things are created without one small step towards it.

Dr Wayne Dyer

How to Drive Your Human Vehicle…

What does my soul wish to share today?

On matters of the heart & love.

Love & Expansion are all that exist in the realm of the soul, there is not much more.  So as humans to be connected too & aware of these, is the gateway for greater joy in ones life!

As humans we spend to much time worrying about matters of the head, and wondering where are we going, what are we doing, how are we going to do this, that or the other, but the heart knows everything that he needs to know to take us to all these life experiences and questions that our head asks.

The head & the heart might seem separate, but they share their own unique partnership.  One could not operate without the other, without each other, neither would have the experiences that they wish for.  And so, they need to communicate with each other to create.

Your life is a creation of your soul.  Born through your head & your heart.  It is imprinted onto your soul for this lifetime.  You could say that the blueprint is within your soul.  So if we know this, then surrender to our hearts leading us, knowing that they guide us constantly, there really can be nothing, NO-THING to fear.

It is when we allow our conditioned Ego, its wayward adventures of untruth, that we loose the key to drive our human vessel.  The human mind is key, much like the key to your car.  It starts the ignition & gets the engine running.  Our minds are the key to get our hearts running, our body is the vehicle, like the body of your cars vehicle.

So if a healthy mind is where it all begins, how do we surrender to this, to be driven through this wondrous life?

Meditation.

Your mind is like a computer hard drive that you have had since birth.  Storing all thoughts, ideas, beliefs, memories, concepts, anything that you’ve seen, heard and thought of.  You have complete access to everything within it! However your mind will continue to use this past information for the present and your future life, attempting to paint your reality, your life, with what it already knows.

But how could it already know what is to come?  It cannot possibly know what the soul has written.

And so, meditation is the way to clear these previously ingrained ideas, concepts, beliefs and thoughts.  Think of it as your daily garbage collection.  Taking out what is not needed each day.  Creating space in your coconut for new ideas to flow forth from the great old Universe!  You are in co-creation with your heart and the Universe in each and every moment.  You mind just needs to be receptive to receive these ideas.

So when we are ready to be open to receive, we will be ready to move forth in divine flow with the creator and all there is, to create a life far beyond what our minds can conceive.  We each have our own paths to curve and create through this tapestry of life.  They are joyous & fulfilling, beyond our wildest dreams and available to us right now, In this moment, the next moment, and each and every moment for the rest of our days.

It is the dance of being human, a human experience unlike any other.  This is why you choose to come here, to experience aspects of yourself that you couldn’t in your light form.

To weave the web of life and play in the mystery of creation.

The calling of my soul…

I’ve heard this term a bit over my years, it was always one of those coaching descriptions that I understood intellectually, but didn’t yet have an experience of.

It’s a bit like your Mum/Dad/Grandparents, telling you, you just know when you’ve met that person you want to marry.

There’s a deep inner resonance with your soul.

A souls calling…  It communicating with you, calling you to take action around something deeply meaningful & transformative.

I feel like mine is yelling at me right now.

There is a restlessness within me, that feels like it won’t relax until I do the very thing it is calling me to do.

I’m pretty excited about it, I feel like I’ve been dancing between worlds of action & inaction for the last number of months.  I’ve learnt that there isn’t one clear straight road from point A to point B.  Sometimes, manytimes, one needs to take stock, smell the flowers, spend time with the flowers, get to know the purpose of these flowers before the journey continues.

I’m proud to say that I have been pretty compassionate towards myself during this time.  I am no longer the freight train that I used to be in getting tasks done.  Sometimes it can frustrate me that I don’t see results when I want to see them.  But then, as I’ve now learnt that I am connected to a bigger force at play, the end result is going to always be larger than I could’ve ever anticipated!

For a while now, I have had a goal, a dream, an idea that I will write a book.  I’ve seen it as being some sort of memoir about healing from sexual abuse, awakening to oneself into a life that is foreign and scary, and taking baby steps each day to integrate newness and wonder.

I figure that I can’t be the only woman or perhaps man out in the world, that has had to experience this sad reality. And that is the thing.  This story isn’t a sad one anymore.  It is an experience that has molded and shaped me into the very woman I am today.  Who knows who I would’ve been had I not of chosen this life to incarnate into.  We choose our life’s and experiences so that we can walk the path that we came here to.  When we are here, it’s a funny thing to reflect back on our human experiences and be so connected to them, as again, we are apart of a bigger magic.

This idea of my book has and is shaping each month that passes.  As I continue to focus on it, it continues to get clearer and clearer, I get more excited about its impending arrival.

Each time I sit down to write, there are a multiple billion word options available to me to use, it is curious which ones will choose my page.

My calling is getting stronger.  I am planning an escape into the forest, to be surrounded only by the trees, nature and water.  I am creating a space to invite the words to spill forth and create this book.  It is an exciting time.  I can feel that there is more available to me than I can conceive of.  And I feel ever more curious to read this book as I am to write it.

Spirit has a message to share through me, and I can’t wait to be its messenger.

 

 

What is my life purpose?

Today I answered a bunch of questions for a fellow Amazing Life + Biz Academy Member, for the opportunity to be featured on her blog as part of her Soul-Full Sunday Interviews.  I have just read one of Carries’ blog posts, and it appears we are both Sexual Abuse thrivers.    I use the description thrive, as Survivor does not feel like a fit for me anymore.

I feel that I now THRIVE, that my story is simply that, something that shaped me into the amazing woman I have become in the world today.  I no longer resonate with that story, however I still wish to share parts of it, as I wish to show other women that there is a way forward from the darkness of your secret.

I share these answers with you, as I shared them with Carrie, as there is a message to be heard.  A message of inspiration.  Showing another way for women who have experienced the pain that abuse can cause.

It is time to rise up into the being that you are here to be in this world.  It is time.

 

How are you following your life path (dharma)?
In each moment I am aware of who I’m choosing to be in the world. I try to make sure that I am present with each & every person I come into contact with. I take personal responsibility for my body & being and trust by doing so, that I teach others that it is possible for them also.
I recently started working at lululemon athletica here in Canada. I love that the girls I’m working with thought that I was 26! I’m actually 36 and ½! I feel like that’s a pretty awesome testament to me!

Have you always had this calling? If not, was it a sudden/gradual shift?
I believe I have. I fit into that known story of not fitting in at school. My story begun with learning I didn’t have a Dad at the age of 5, then at the age of 8 – was sexually abused by my Mums boyfriend. I took on the beliefs that I wasn’t good enough to have a Dad & in the second example – shut down my emotions as I didn’t know how to deal with the situation.

It’s only in hindsight I see that I spent my teens & early 20’s ‘running’ from myself. I left my home country of New Zealand at the age of 20, from here life was hard and fast. I partied hard, engaged in recreational drugs, exercised like a mad woman & was determined my body defined how I felt about myself.
I entered a body building competition in 2006 – I spent 1 year working towards that goal. After competition & a Vision Quest I completed as part of my Life Coaching studies, my world fell apart.
This intention of my quest was ‘to shine’, I went through a very dark knight of the soul with depression for 2.5 years. This forced me to acknowledge the pain that I’d kept hidden from my childhood that I had been running from.
As I pulled through – I learnt that there was so much wonder & beauty in the world. I knew I had a purpose in this life that involved inspiring others to heal from their pain.

What did you have to give up by honoring your path?
I’ve let go of a lot!
Fear, Doubt, Worry, Anxiety, Pain, Lack…
I’d say in aligning to something greater that feels good, I’ve chosen to let go of the things that haven’t supported me feeling good.
This might look like; big nights out, binge drinking, recreational drugs, gossip, TV, reading Newspapers/Magazines, eating processed foods, sugar, non organic meat, obsessive exercise habits…
The physical things I mentioned just fell away as I changed. It wasn’t about letting go of them because I thought I needed to. It’s was about aligning to something greater, about making the CHOICE to FEEL good. To feel GREAT.

What have you learned/gained by remembering your true nature (honoring your path)?
That I am unlimited… I have everything that I could ever need, in this moment & every moment. All I need to do is align to the vibration of what I want, and I will attract what I need, or the steps to move closer towards attracting what I need.

That it is an absolute CHOICE to feel good. It doesn’t just happen, it is something that you need to work at. Chose to eat healthy nutritional food, chose healthy movement habits, choice healthy work & social environments, chose healthy thoughts…

What is one thing you do every week to honor your innermost authentic Self (connection to Source)?
I do a lot of things. I LOVE nature…. I will take time out and visit the local woods and breathe, probably even hug & talk to the trees there.
I will watch the insects and birds & notice how they might invite me in & let each other know that I’m there.

I meditate daily. I give thanks to Great Spirit and acknowledge its existence.

What is one treat you can share with us to bring along on our own path towards freedom?
Oh SO many…. But one.
Um, I would invite you to observe your mind.
Watch your thoughts.
Sit in quiet contemplation, or meditation and observe.
Or, if you don’t feel ready (yet), to start. Journal.
Write. Write. Write.
Write unedited on a blank sheet of paper. Just allow anything that enters your mind to be expressed onto that sheet. Give yourself 20 minutes of pure uninterrupted time to express your minds thoughts.

What is my life purpose?

Oh life you interesting monkey…

Oh life, you are an interesting monkey at times…

Today I share my Vlog about what space I’ve been in, and why it is a necessary part of growth & development…

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

With love, always <3

Mediocre to Great – Great to Amazing, Amazing to Unbelievable, Unbelievable to ….

I wrote this blog this morning on my work ‘intranet’ blog, but felt it pertinent for anyone who runs their own business, or in a Customer Service type role…

 

I started writing out my Vision yet again, and I always love how it is a ever evolving thing, never still or stationary – much like ourselves.

This time, I thought about what I wanted, but I found myself asking – why?

Why do I wish for these things for myself?  What is the purpose of an individual goal/vision.  Yes, it is relevant absolutely, as it is my life, a life, one life I am driving.  Although it is definitely not separate to anything else in this world.  So what is the purpose of fulfilling my goal or vision if nothing else surrounding me advances in its process?

There is a greater purpose at play, not just my speck of dust purpose in the pool of this varst ocean of people.

When I ‘achieve’ my vision so to speak, what does that mean for the rest of the world?

Are they still sitting on their butts thinking about the goals they wished they had of achieved?  I hope not.

I wish for more go-getters in this life, imagine if the people that surrounded you and further, were as much of a go-getter as you are?  What if the people around you cared equally, if not more for the planet that we live on?  What would that mean to your life and the life of others?  Something even more beautiful beyond comprehension right?

So what if our goals were about others?  Not to cancel out our own, as I’m sure if you’re reading this, you are a progressed enough soul to acknowledge how many years you have been plugging away at your purpose and goals, no you are well aware of your wants, desires, challenges etc… and you’ve got them down.

This extends beyond that, this goes beyond personal responsibility.  This moves into the next step, of responsibility for others.  Not to take on theirs, but to teach them responsibility for self.

Much like the journey of Educator to Key Leader, from Key Leader to ASM and so on…

How we do one thing in life, we do everything. 

Because you are an employee of xyz or self employed business owner, what does that mean in your life, your personal world?  Who are you being outside of this role?  Do you treat strangers the same way you would treat your work customers?  Do you aim to inspire Greatness to the person serving your daily coffee or breakfast?

How do you inspire those around you, beyond the store, into being someone greater than they know themselves to be?

What kind of world do you want to live in?  What will it look like around you when you’re reached your 10 year Vision?