The uncomfortable awakening of my Kindred Spirit friendship

I have really recently had to acknowledge an uncomfortable communication experience, that magically appeared to bring some greater clarity into my life, and open me up to some intentions I set for myself on Tuesday night at the Sacred Circle.

See, I saw it all magically play out, as it was brought to my attention, but totally missed it, as it begun.

With the planning of the Sacred Circle that was held on Tuesday night, it was a new thing that was gathering a life of its own to commence.

It started with a conversation with a friend where, she had read that this was goal of mine as I’d shared it on Facebook.

When we saw each other after that post, she said “Let’s do that, I’d love that!”

So, I jumped, and together we said we’d start it and see what happened.

As I don’t really know many people here in Victoria yet, I said to her, invite whoever you want to come.  In that moment, I never really thought of the event as being MINE, more a co-creation of our energies.

I assumed that she was verbally inviting who she knew, and me, well, I couldn’t think of anyone else I knew.

Fast forward Tuesday day, I needed to get me some Nature time, so head out to Thetis Lake.  When I arrived, I thought of Erin, another friend that I’ve made here, through Neil.  It dawned on me, that I hadn’t personally spoken to her about the event, this somehow now seemed odd.  I knew Candace had – the original friend I’d started the conversation with, but I hadn’t even brought the topic up in conversation with Erin.

I thought it best I send Erin a text message and acknowledge this.  I hadn’t really thought anything of it, but turns out she had.

The reply I received from her, was one of upset & hurt.  “I don’t understand why you didn’t invite me, did I do something?”

Ouch.  Ouch for her – Ouch – what have I done?

Of course she hadn’t done anything.  What had I done?  Why HADN”T I invited her?

While in the woods, I got really honest with that question upon reading that text.  Why hadn’t I invited her?

And what I realized, my truth, was that I was intimidated by Erin.  I had seen her as someone I had to impress.  She is Neil’s nearest & dearest friend.  He adores her, he dotes on her, she is Neil’s Erin!  I was realizing that through our whole new friendship, I had not been honest at all, with showing her the real HEIDI.  I had not been my true self.  I had been a lesser uncomfortable version.  By me holding this Sacred Circle, I was scared of showing her who I really was, and was afraid that she’d reject me, because I really valued what she thought of who I was.

The truth was pouring out of me as I asked myself this question.

Ouch.  Again.  What had I done?

Upon realizing my truth, I immediately wanted to clear it.  Have an opportunity to talk.  But Erin on the other side of the phone, did not.  She wasn’t ready.

There was nothing I could do to change this.

I called Neil and told him what had happened.  What I’d done.  I knew he wasn’t happy.  Ouch.

Fast forward to the evening.  Neil arrived home.  His first words upon walking through the door, “What have you done to Erin?  She’s pissed.  Just kidding!”  Though I knew he wasn’t.

I explained my side of the story, to which he heard and tried to support me, though I could tell I was making out to be the villain in this story.

His phone rang.  It was Erin.  I could hear her voice through the phone.  All I heard was Bitch, and the butterflies in my stomach started.  Ouch.

After Neil’s conversation, he returned down the stairs and shared with me how upset she was.  I knew he was upset with me, and upset that his Erin was upset & he was trying to support me, but a sensitive knows.

Because I was heading out that night, to the Circle, Neil had decided to make plans and was heading over the Todd & Erins house to play…  Slight memories of school days surfaced.  Gossip fests & back stabbing.  Ouch.

Fast forward – I dropped Neil off at their house and headed to the Circle.

During the Circle we voiced our New Moon intentions – and mine has been to create new soul based friendships.  Attract Kindred Spirits into my life.  Create relationships based on love, compassion, support… All these yummy things.  It suddenly occurred to me, that perhaps I hadn’t been this, to attract this?  I was acknowledging that I have been scared to be my authentic hippy spiritual self.  She’s been present to me, but perhaps not so much in some friendships.  I could see what was happening.

The next day, I took myself for a drive.  I needed to get out.  So I headed down to Dallas Road, to where the beach and the mountains are.  Ohhhh the Mountains…  I sat in the car and a few things happened.

I began having a conversation with Erin’s Soul about the whole experience.  I could see that it had all been a beautiful orchestration of events to bring us together as Kindred Souls!  We laughed and joked about the horrible experience we’d created for each other to come together, but we had come together, and that was the purpose!  I saw Neil & Erin as Kindred Spirit friends, and understood why they have the friendship that they do.  It was all SO clear!  I saw Erin & I coming together on a new level – and with that I just cried.  I cried and cried… Tears of joy.  Tears of acknowledgment of a new time on this Earth.  Where Kindred Friendships are and have been forming.  Just magic…

However because these soul conversations are new for me, I am still humanly aware that I have to deal with the physicality of our experience.  A conversation is still necessary in order to clear whatever lessons have been brought to the light.

Thankfully, Thursday she was ready to meet.  Through our soul conversation I knew I needed to present a small gift, a small token to Erin to show her that we’d had that conversation.  Though I didn’t know at the time what it needed to be.  Her soul had told me  – so I know.  Wednesday night, I was laying in bed, and the answer hit me.  A shell.  Erin LOVES shells!  And I remembered just the perfect gift.  I was sad to be giving this away, as I love him.  But happy to be giving him to Erin, and I knew she would love him too.  I have a Shell Necklace that I bought with me from Australia, which is a beautiful healing device.  He was created to open up to spirit and aid in healing.  My little baromay friend.  He was perfect. So I jumped out of bed to grab him, and give him a wake up to let him know he was off to a new home.

Roll round Thursday, Erin & I had scheduled to meet at my local coffee shop.  I think I must have tuned my new friend Jeff in, as he was there waiting for me.  Funny.  I told him that I was about to have a significant meeting with a friend and he heard me.

Erin arrived and I could tell we were both a little unsure how it was going to go.  I didn’t know whether we were going to run together and embrace like the movies – or nut things out all humanly – who knew.  Jeff suggested – did it matter.  ha

Sparing the details, as you know them all now.  We chatted, cleared and discussed each others side of the story, and heard each other.  The details seem irrelevant given the conversation I knew I’d had with her soul the day before.

I gave her the shell necklace and her face lite up!  She was captivated by him & wore him immediately.  I felt thrilled.  It could feel its power hit home.

From there forward, we talked and talked and continued to talk right up until the early afternoon.  I felt like we danced and I felt like we shared so many of the same little idiosyncrasies.  I hadn’t shared myself with Erin previously, for fear of rejection.  Rejection of myself in the world, manifested and projected as Erin rejecting me.

So the magical gift from this uncomfortable communication slip up, was I got to really connect with one of my Kindred Sistas – and it feels AMAZING…

Acknowledge the uncomfortable stuff, face it head on, because what have you got to loose?  Pride.  Dignity?  Move into vulnerability, join the dance with spirit and play…  Welcome the magic!


ogden-point-breakwater (1)
Odgen Point – Victoria BC

15 Day Challenge – Day 5 – What is an old habit I am replacing with a new one

Letting go, letting go, letting go….

Todays challenge blog topic…

Friends, habits, behaviors that don’t support you.

You are the sum of those 5 people that surround you…

Are they supporting you to be your highest most amazing self?

Some of the examples shared.

What comes up for me, and has been shining through today in my interactions, is when I am, and when I am not, being a shining being, an example of lightness & brightness in the world.

You may have heard the saying – be your shiny self and you give permission for others to be the same, (or something to this effect).

I feel this is true right now, more so than EVER.

If we are brought down by the lower energies, the daily dramas, the pain in the world, the bad news, we are not holding a space of light & possibility for the world to choose to do the same.

If we are happy, shining, going about our days the way that makes us feel good, we do not need to feel bad in anyway for feeling this way.

Sometimes I feel that I am to positive, to light, to ‘water off a ducks back like’, and that by me being this, I am making others feel bad.  The truth is, I may be bringing up discomfort, thoughts, feelings, emotions, in an individual by being so, but this is their opportunity to let go of what is in their way from joining me in my happiness – our happiness, the collective happiness of Earth – that is our innate birthright.

Do not feel bad, for feeling good.  For smiling, laughing, making loud noises in public.  There are NO rules to life.  There is only feeling good. And we get to choose this daily.  in fact, each second, each minute, each hour, each day.  It is a conscious choice to feel GREAT!

“What’s mine is mine.  What’s yours is yours”.

This is a simple little mantra one can begin to ascertain energetic karma.

If someone is angry – this could be their anger.
If you are in the presence of them & you feel angry because of their anger;
1 – there is anger that needs addressing in you – that you need to let go of.
2 – you have picked up on their anger, they have corded you, and you need to detach & give back what is theirs.  Creating boundaries.
3 – you don’t feel their anger at all, it is not a trigger to you, you are holding the light bright, showing them that they can release their anger right here and now if they so choose to do so.  They may get more angry if they resist, but if the are ready, they will release this pattern & you will have shown them the way to a new space.

I hope this example gives an insight into how to bring the light in life situations.  My consciousness is a bit screwy since the weekend, so words feel weird to write, giving examples of energetic experiences.

Nahko & Medicine for the People sing the songs of raising awareness & bringing the light….

I HIGHLY recommend you start following, check him out on YouTube.

good things coming

15 Day Challenge – Day 4 – 1 distraction I am going to remove from daily life

I opened my Day 4 email and was reading it aloud in front of Neil.

After reading the topic, without thought, Neil answered “Me”.

He believes he is a distraction to me in me getting stuff done.

This is true to some degree… but definitely NOT one I am going to remove that’s for sure.  Sure we have needed to create some boundaries in how we do life, but once harmony is found, then some sort of balance is created.  One that one hopes through open communication, works for both parties.

I think of myself as a pretty organised individual.  I get shit done as and when needed.  But waking up this morning and reflecting on what I need to remove, I find what I need to be doing more of, is just getting efficient in daily tasks.  I have been plodding along in my day because I can.  I haven’t had a official job, and I haven’t been busy, and so I can get away with playing with my minutes, hours & days.  I haven’t wanted to condense how I complete my tasks.

And today, because my attention was focused on what distractions I could remove, I was clearly able to see what things could shift.

– Getting out of bed the moment my alarm goes off
– Not checking Facebook or any form of Social Media upon rising.
– Deciding what to do and starting it immediately instead of fluffing & enjoying my moments.
– When at the gym – focusing on the task, or exercise at hand.  I realized today that I fluff a little at the gym because I’ve been looking to connect with people, and so I float my openness in time seeking to connect with others.

When I have tasks to do, I am focused on these, and I no longer need to float my time and fluff around.

So in conclusion, what is my one distraction to remove from my daily life?
A:  Being more focused on my daily tasks & productivity & less fluffing & dancing with the limitless time that I have.

time dancer

15 Days to Freedom – Day 2 – Identify 1 MIA to achieve in the next 15 days

Day 2 here I am!

If you haven’t heard, I signed up for a 15 day blog challenge.  Each day presents a new topic to blog about.
Todays is:  What is your Most Important Action that will leverage your business within the next 15 days.

Initially when I listened to Natalie’s Video this morning, I felt a surge of anxiety…

Holy Shit – what am I NOT doing!

I went straight into fear mode.

Natalie listed some examples of Most Important Actions, and it made me realize how far I am from, say, putting a client proposal together, creating video scripts, or launching a new product.

And this is my problem.  I can often feel deflated because I’m not where I would like to be.

I totally compare myself to all the other beauties out there who HAVE launched their books, who have a tribe of followers and generally look like they’re kicking ASS!

So I went through my little process of this, and acknowledged, right, I might not be at the stage of creating the above tasks, BUT this topic is a right kick up the bum, and I see myself as a proactive – motivated individual – SO what IS achievable for me?

I think the biggest obstacle – if I even bother to call it that – is Networking.  Telling people what I do!

Because I’m new in this town, and new to this bloody country for that matter – I am SO aware that I am yet to create my group of friends and network.
I have been aware of this, and so last week, I decided to take some action – and went into my local lululemon athletica store and asked for a job.
They’re not currently hiring, but that doesn’t mean that’s the end of that – it’ll be a work in progress.

But the MAGIC of the morning, from this MIA process is that upon my arrival at my gym this morning, I saw my friend T.  He asked me how I went with lululemon, and I shared what I did with you.  I shared my intentions around wanting to work for them again.  He suggested a recent opportunity that could exist within Studio 4 (my gym).  They’re currently seeking a membership consultant/reception person, and said he’d be happy to introduce me to the gym Manager if I wanted.  Studio 4

Long story short.  By the end of my workout – I knew I wanted to meet the Manager – so I did.

I have just emailed off my Resume to her, and who knows?  I could have a P/T role within my local gym…
Talk about getting clear on what you need & making shit happen!

What a wonderful opportunity it would be.  I could meet so many new people & get my word out there!

So – My Most Important Action is NETWORKING – telling people what I do.

And just incase you don’t know what I do…

I help individuals and groups of women align to their greatest Health, Increasing Self Love & Self Esteem.

15 Days to Freedom – Day 1 – What is my daily success plan?

Laptop Woman PJsWelcome to…

I am, as with anything in life, a work in progress.

My website might not yet be attractive to the eye, but I am trusting that I am attracting who is ready to arrive.

What a morning I’ve had with this topic.  And it’s not that it’s a difficult one at all, in fact I’m pretty attuned to my needs and my morning ritual that sets me up for the day.

You see.  This morning was just not my ‘ideal’ morning, and so perhaps there’s something in that to share.

It’s so very easy to share the things that we do, and how to set us up, but how about the finer detail that lays underneath it all?

The excuses, and morning funks, the uggggs.  All of those feelings I’m sure you’re familiar with.  I know you know them… you’re not human if you don’t, or, you’re potentially in denile.

Sometimes its about just doing the very best that you can do, and that is enough.  I’m not having one of those days, but I have definitely scaled today back a little.

For me, it was just an uncomfortable nights sleep that preceded an evening out with friends for a birthday.  I drank 2 alcoholic drinks, and simply forgot that me, alcohol & sleep are not the best of friends.  It sets me up for a disrupted sleep where I wake cranky and not at all motivated for my day ahead….

So whatever the reasons are for you; being awoken by your little one’s during the night, going through a rough & challenging time, feeling rundown, there are always small steps you can do in your morning that can support a rise in spirit that see’s you supporting your soul.

It’s 12.39pm – I am still in my PJ’s, I’ve moved to the couch from the table & I have my first ‘morning’ coffee in hand.
But.  I have taken small self care steps.
I drank my 1ltr bottle of water upon rising, I ate eggs for breakfast, I just completed my meditation listening to Edo & Jo, and am now enjoying my coffee writing of my experience.

Stuff comes up for me writing from my true experience.
My judgement kick in, and I judge myself for appearing like a “negative Nancy”.
I project that the reader is thinking this also.
I like to think, that my perspective validates the reader who is reading this –  rich with their thoughts, judgments and blocks.  I know there is the simplicity that lays in the letting go, and rising up from the ashes – free from thought, and, I also am aware of how some people simply need a hand extended to support them to take that step – by means of storytelling & sharing.
There is truth & light in both paths.

It’s only recently that I have really started reading & following blogs, and the one’s that resonate for me are the blogs where the writer is their truthful beautiful authentic self.  I like to think that this is me.

Whilst I did not meditate upon waking, as suggested as the ‘perfect’ time, I did meditate.
I did it just before I began writing Version 2 of this Blog. This is actually my third attempt, after a failed Video Blog didn’t post.
My meditation brought me back to my warmth, my stillness & calmness, and it reminded me to write what is true for me.  My writing is not to TRY to have it read by thousands, but to simply share what sits with me & what makes my heart sing.  And my truth & experience is what makes my heart sing.  I am rich & deep with experience that sometimes needs practice in being voiced to the world, let alone an audience of thousands. Each journey begins with a single step, and my blogging/writing is just that.

Another awesome AWESOME habit I recently committed to, is drinking enough water.  It’s a funny thing ya know.  We are meant to drink half our weight in ounces each day.  For me this is just short of 2ltrs per day.  While I was drinking water, I think I would just fall short.  Especially working in retail, where I was constantly speaking to people, and the nuisance of needing to leave the store, to head to the bathroom can subconsciously stop one (me) from drinking my full quota.

So, I committed to drinking 500ml – 1ltr of quality water upon rising each morning.  Initially I pee’ed a lot, but then it seemed to balance out, and drinking that amount of water became something I craved upon waking!  Neil & I swore we must’ve spent about $100 on water while we in Ontario for Christmas.  I simply CANNOT drink tap water.  And nor should I recommend you do – please!  We would need to ensure we had around 6ltr per day for the both of us to meet our water requirements, we had quite the recycling collection.  I think Neil’s step Mum thought me odd for continuously bringing my own water to their house.
As WE up our self care, and follow the things that we need, we can be confronted by others views and judgments by what we are doing.  Its just a great opportunity to ask ourselves if we really believe in ourselves.

I especially encountered this when moving in with Neil.  One of the tools I need for self care or morning ritual is my Meditation practice.  If I don’t, I can be grumpy & am generally not so nice.  I would feel bad for needing this time upon waking, and initially forwent this need, thinking I was being to sensitive/to special.  It became apparent that as I wasn’t giving myself this time, I would feel cranky and a little resentful.  Neil the ever intuitive one, picked up on this & reminded me of the importance of this exercise for my self care.  I initially would feel uncomfortable with the details of where to do this, especially when he was home.  But details gave way to necessity, I got over myself, and it all fell into place.  These days if I haven’t cleared or meditated, and need to – Neil is the first one to notice.  He gently prompts me to have some time while he cooks breakfast.  I am very very fortunate to have such an in tune, sensitive partner.

The other thing I need, is movement.  In whatever form I can do it.  If my body is moving, I am moving.  And the same for it flip sided.  On days like today where I have woken feeling somewhat flat, I find it a challenge to get to the gym or some high vibing structure I usually adhere too.  So a walk is a perfect substitute, or my own home yoga practice.  Moving initiates energy movement, and facilitates out with the old, in with the new.  Get out of ya head, and get moving ya bum!  Don’t think about the how, just start & before you know it, you’ll feel on top of your day again.  These words as especially true for me today.  In fact, as soon as this writing is complete – I will take my own advice.

In summary, my favorite morning ritual tools;

1 – Drink 500ml – 1ltr of quality water upon rising
2 – Meditate/Energy Clear/Chakra Balance
3 – Eat a high quality fulfilling breakfast that matches your Metabolic Type
4 – Move your body

Any combination of the above will be sure to have you taking smalls steps or giant leaps towards conquering your day.

Much love your way  – see you tomorrow for Day 2’s Blog Challenge

How to be a responsible energetic being…

I feel like I am in the middle of a pretty big process right now, and I wonder who else might be feeling it too.

I woke this morning to read a number of Facebook posts from women expressing their versions of it, so thought I’d make an attempt to try also.

Usually I would write in my journal about this sort of thing as it that makes no sense to me in my brain, but since I am without a formal journal just yet, figure it may make an interesting post?

I feel muddled, unfocused, a little confused and ready to burst wide open.

Elizabeth Peru says its a huge energetic “out with the old, in with the new” time right now – and boy do I feel it!

I woke this morning with a stiff neck and have felt rather meeehhh – so know something is up.

I decided to energetically clear the house, and I know with our recent vacation, it hasn’t been receiving the love that it usually does from us.  I found a few dark dingy spots, and definitely a few spaces that needed the murkiness cleared.  It is important for me to do this regularly as I can’t control the energies of the people who I am living with.  My sensitivities can sometime frustrate me as I find I pick up on others energies and it tends to make me feel worse for it.  It is teaching me to be more proactive in clearing and protecting, and I am grateful for these lessons, but equally frustrated to live with unaware unconscious individuals.  Likely more lessons for me here.

I feel like I am about to burst into a brand new welcoming space of light that is rich and full with all that I have been consciously and sub-consciously manifesting.  I know this as, the old thoughts presenting just seem to old and out of alignment with what I am working towards.  I am aware of this, but somehow still get pulled into them a little – I am at that threshold before crossing the bridge permanently where these thoughts will be nothing more than the past, a distant memory.

There is so much I anticipate welcoming in!  I am aligning to a new sense of myself – one that will support my new business and how I show up in the world.  One that is aligned to the world and its good.  Tools & insights are slowly dropping in, but nothing that completing makes sense to me yet.  As I said, I am in that middle, a space in between.

If this is happening collectively, there will be energetic debris floating around the earth looking to attach to unknowing individuals, and so there is no time like the present to be MORE conscious to how we are choosing to spend our time, look after ourselves and self care like crazy!

My upcoming e-book, contains specific exercises for self care & nurturing, but in the meantime one simple exercise that we can practice is to protect our energies.  We can visualize white light pour down from our source (Universe, Light, God – whatever or whoever you align too), enter our crown chakras, and cloak our energetic body, protecting us from energies that don’t serve our best & highest good.  It is FAR to easy to not do this, picking up energetic debris, taking it home with us, into our sacred spaces.  This very debris creates experiences and thoughts that are likely not even ours.  Arguments, discomfort, dis-ease, illness… any little manifestation of it…  I have added a link HERE for further detailed information on the ‘how to’s’ of energy protection.  Why reinvent the wheel right.

Not only is it important to practice this little ritual of energy protection for yourself, but if you do feel called to, maybe when out and about in the world you send a golden Reiki Blanket, or energy cleanse public places…  I remember attending my Reiki 2 Workshop and the beautiful Jacqui Bushell shared that she often does this as public service.  When out and about, she will sit and consciously clear the energy of the place that she is in.  Can you imagine?  What a beautiful service to offer to the world.  You then save those people around you from picking up on the energetic crap that is floating in thin air.  It’s a shame we don’t adopt Balinese Traditions with our daily offerings and service to spirit.  If you’ve been to Bali you to will know of the magic that you feel by being on that Island – it is beyond words.  But until that day happens, I invite you to take the steps towards being an energetically responsible individual, and protect your energies and if called, clear public spaces of energetic debris.





A conversation with my menstrual cramps…

This month, today actually.  I am having particularly strong menstrual pains.

I decided to apply my technique (that I shared in a previous Facebook post) about tuning in and asking it what it needs.

Sounds almost crazy to something that one is almost accustomed to having each month?

Still I KNOW that as a Woman, I am NOT meant to be feeling these intense pains each month.

I thought about describing the feeling to someone who didn’t understand what they felt like, and it goes a little something like;

“It feels as though someone has grabbed a hold of my uterus through my pelvis, also grabbing my lower spine while they’re in there, and is attempting to pull them both out through my pelvis, constantly.  YEEEEOUCH!

Sounds delightful doesn’t it?!


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO is the RAGE that I feel at this feeling!




How on Earth, Where on Earth can I head to release this primal rage inside of me!

I am sitting here right now, in front of my computer, neatly typing about such ravaged words….

There is an absolute mismatch!  An incongruency in action.

This past week, I have tapped into a shift I am processing at present.

It is one that stems far deeper than my individual wounding, and drops into centuries of womanly wounding.  I don’t fully understand it, and how could I if I, my body is not centuries old.  But my Spirit is.  My Spirit tells the story of the centuries of woman’s pain.  My Spirit knows at its core what needs to heal, and I feel strongly, I feel it communicating to me, preparing me to let go and commence healing for something far deeper than I will ever understand.

I was reflecting on this topic last night and wondering how the HELL would I be able to discuss such a thing.  I mean if this is what I am called to write about, to talk about, how can I, who has no knowledge of this start.

Spirit knows.

Spirit always knows.

And so, I am going to write the words that I receive from Spirit, in answer to the questions I ask.

Q:  What is it that I need to acknowledge about the Woman’s Wound?

A:  It is time to burst open with love for the divine feminine that has been repressed for far to long.

Q:  How do I do this?

A:  By doing what you are doing now.  Acknowledging that it exists and bringing light to the dark that has been.

Q:  OK, and then?

A:  And then you can share with your tribes of women who also experience deep pain within them and their families of origin.

Q:  What will I say in my words?

A:  You say what is true in your heart.  What is real for you in this moment.  Share you raw emotions, your hurt , pain and suffering for having felt your divine feminine suppressed.


Q: (to myself) What has it been like for me, Heidi, to have my divine feminine repressed?

I feel curled, contracted, bundled, shackled, leased, un wild, tamed… like a caged lioness who has been held captive, unable to hunt for her pride. I feel repressed energy, sadness and grief, dark, the sunrise before it has risen, ready to rise, but time standing still.  A scream with no voice, unheard and alone.  Alone, unattached, small, a flower bud before it has blossomed with all the pressure building to bust and burst its beauty, an air bubble beneath water beaming towards the surface, but just beneath the surface… all these feelings and MORE…. just waiting, longing, wanting to be FREE!

Wow…. OK

Soul speaks, listen.

It is time.  Perhaps it IS the time of the WOLF?


What if you are far greater than you know!

Where attention goes, energy flows.

This is the way of the Universe.  This is the way of the body.

We are born into this world given everything that we could ever need within us.

But it seems that somewhere along the way, we lost our way.

We seek for love, meaning, knowledge outside of ourselves.

We go on a journey that takes us so far from ourselves, that we’re not sure we’ll ever find the way home.  Physically, Emotionally or Spiritually.

This may not be everyone’s story, but it was definitely mine.

I lost a connection to myself in the decision that I made to protect myself, or, protect my Mother from telling her what had happened to me.

I somehow thought that I had done something wrong, naughty, bad, so therefore I could not, dare not tell my Mum.

In that small child mind of mine, I separated myself from myself.  I detached emotionally and shut off to protect myself from the world.

In the years that followed are a string of side effects that steam from the very core of this event, and likely even deeper as I am only now beginning to awaken to.

See human beings are programmed for love, connection, tribal being.  Not pain, suffering, despair and wounding.

It is our personal pain, compounded by our ancestral pain that see’s us as a civilization so detached from our innate magical selves.

We are amazing beyond our knowledge, we are infinite cosmic beings who block our own magical potential for power.

It is in Meditation & Healing’s that we minutely come to sense a tiny glimpse of who we are.

Even words do not, or could not express who we are.

But our bodies are the gateway to this wonder..  If we did not wear these bodies that we wear, then we would just be our essence.  Our Spirits, floating, drifting gloriously about without a care, worry or purpose.  Combine the two & who knows what you’ll get.  Magic infused in a vehicle that can do anything!!

Why are we so scared of our own potential!

Because we are powerful beyond belief.

We block our potential and create energy blocks, manifesting into physical di-ease and unrest.

We are surrounded by a society so detached from self, we are lost as a culture.

If I could do ONE thing in this life, it would be to teach those I encounter, how to connect to their innate wisdom.

To teach the tools to create vibrancy & health.  To be able to bound through life with such joy and meaning..

But I can’t teach responsibility.  I can’t teach everyone to choose the road less traveled.  To acknowledge their buried pain and tribal/family wounding.

But where will we start?  If not this generation, will it be the next?  Or the next?  Who will step up?

When will courage be infectious.  What would it take?

If courageousness was as hipster as the latest Instagram trend, would we then have our market?

Does change need to have a catalyst of pain like the Sydney Seige?

What if it didn’t?

What if we simply woke up tomorrow and KNEW who we were and our PURPOSE?


10 Quick Health changes you can apply NOW…

Wanna read some of my favorite things that contribute towards my Health?

1 – Stop.  Close your eyes.  Take 5 deep breaths into your belly.

2 – Drink a big glass of fresh clean NON tap water.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.

3 – Take your shoes off.  Walk on the grass.  Focus your energy down to your feet to receive the energy from the Earth.

4 – Lay down on the ground and turn your feet up a wall for 5 minutes.

5 – Take a cold shower.

6 – Watch your thoughts.  Catch a negative one & consciously flip it into a positive.  Write it down.  Sing it.  Dance it.  Draw it.  Play it over and over in your mind.  YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND SO VERY VERY LOVED!!!

7 – Get to bed no later than 10.30pBlog image 1m.

8 – Jump in the Ocean.

9 – Have an Orgasm.

10 – Sleep naked.

Do you speak the language TRUTH?

Since getting regular with my writing and posting, I am learning that everyone has something to say, perhaps they just haven’t learnt how to say it yet?

I remember when I first met my coach, she was able to explain, in perfect detail, exactly how I was feeling, and describe a particular pattern I may have been caught in.

I remember thinking – I wish I could take this lady EVERYWHERE, so that she could articulate my words to my friends.  Also, I wondered if there was a course I could take to learn the language she spoke.

Today, I am reflecting on the time that has past since that session, and acknowledging that I NOW speak that language that she did in that session.

The language of TRUTH.

We are beginning to hear more and more of this TRUTH.  But what does it mean to you?

I reminds me of Mum saying to us kids, “now tell the truth”, as if we’d just done something naughty and now we have to fess up.

Fess Up.  Tell your Truth.  Speak of that which you have been up to.  That which is on your mind.

Who is scared of others knowing what is on their mind?

For a LONG time, I felt like I was a fraud.  Scared that people would find out that I was BULLSHIT.

Find out who the real me was, and then reject me for all the things I didn’t like about myself.

When I started my Personal Development Journey, my mask that I wore in the world, that showed everyone that I was ok, and that I had my shit together, it slowly began to fall away.

I had to develop a relationship with that part of me deep down.  That part that felt like I was a fraud, that part of me that was scared.  The part that was my TRUTH.  The TRUTH about how I felt about myself!  Who wants to admit that this is how they feel about themselves?  No one.  Which is why we hide behind our masks.

At Vision Quest, I set my intention to be a shining star in the world.  I threw that piece of paper into the fire, and walked away from it, not at all understanding the extent of the intention I had just created.

I had asked for all of my masks to be melted away, revealing my true self, my shining light.

On the weeks/months/years that followed, I had completely dismantled my false sense of self.

I was stripped back to the very core of who I was.

My shining light self, that was not yet shining.

My TRUE self, raw and vulnerable in the world.  Striped to expose that truth of the pain that had resided there.

During this time, I didn’t know this.  I didn’t know these words that I am explaining to you now.

I only knew Lost.  Fear.  Pain.  Sadness.

To society, I was depressed.

To my Nature Care peers, I was undergoing a Spiritual Emergence, maybe even an Emergency.

Most will take Anti-Depressants because it is not an easy path.  (no judgement – huge topic here…)

Day in, day out, showing up in the world experiencing this level of pain.

Living in a world that doesn’t accept this level of pain.

Take a pill, you will feel better.

Time will heal.

This too shall pass.

I’ve heard them all.

But to sit in the depth and TRUTH of this space, is a journey that even the bravest soul may cower.


What is your TRUTH?

Is it that you are scared?

Is it that you are in pain?

Is it that you are deeply unhappy?

We all know this language of TRUTH.

But do YOU speak it?

Or do you turn the other way?