Journaling has been one of the most useful TOOLS I have used over the past 10 years to support me in gaining clarity & understanding through challenging times.
In the beginning, it was the one place I could go to be totally unedited, 100% ME…
I would write anything I wanted, and express my deepest pains, fears, joys, confusion.
In a bid to gain clarity yesterday, here are the words I wrote, and the conversation I had with myself…
I share these with you to show you that we are all working life out, figuring out the journey and feeling tough stuff…
Journal share – 12 April 2015
I feel like I’m dismantling. Falling apart. Disassembling. Every thought seems old and untrue. It is an old framework that is breaking down in order to rebuild anew I dreamt I was in an old house/chateau last night that was doing just this, falling apart from the inside. I managed to escape from inside of it, to run and tell the others. They got on auto emergency fix it to try to repair the inner foundations. But I think it was already to far gone.
I feel like this.
It is ok.
But it is also a slight challenge. I feel like falling apart. I feel on the verge of a breakdown/breakthrough. My body aches and I think is trying to find its new configuration. The pain in my body has become a 6-7 out of 10. Neil did an amazing job of massaging it yesterday. It feels different, but a bit bruised. In my mind/world I seem to not be happy with anything. Like it doesn’t fit anymore I am aware of being ready for a new way of being. Maybe more lightness. More open. More love. I wrote open without being conscious of that. More creative. More fun. More flowing with each passing moment. There are hints of this one the horizon. Just at arms reach. Sounds like a BIG transformation.
By when do I feel this will be complete. 5 days. In time for the new moon 🙂
Life will feel NEW.
INTERESTING and an adventure again.
But for now?
Keep practicing self care. love, being. grounded. nature. meditation. earth. nature.
The things I know.
I please ask that if you are feeling drawn to reach out and comfort me, I invite you to check in with yourself, and ask how you need to comfort YOU. We are all mirrors for one another.
I am well, and being comforted wholey and fully by myself.
With love. Always