Grief Friend you are Welcome

Have you noticed how grief can be a trickster at times?

Disguised in one form, dressed as another.

Like an unannounced house¬†guest, he knocks at the door, packed bags in hand, you answer in your underwear, the house a mess, you’re unprepared. ¬†“Hello friend, I am Grief.”

He has come to visit. ¬†To turn him¬†away would be unheard of, perhaps a crime.¬† He never quite says what he needs, why he’s here, or how long he’ll stay for. ¬†But you welcome him in, albeit reluctantly.¬† You both take a seat on the couch and he starts the conversation.

‚ÄúHow are you friend?‚ÄĚ

You give your surface level reply. ¬†“I’m good, I’m busy with work, friends, social situations, family. ¬†I’m grateful for everything & everything is fine.”

He responds, ‚ÄúIs that right?¬† Tell me about how you‚Äôve been feeling during your evenings alone?‚ÄĚ

Something clicks inside.¬† You know exactly the feeling he is referring to.¬† You’ve been binging on chocolate & Netflix each night, in an avoidance of feeling this now named feeling.

‚ÄúTell me about THAT feeling he says, compassionately, lovingly.‚ÄĚ

You sit for a moment.¬† For maybe the first time, tuning into that discomfort that resides in your body.¬† Uggghhh ‚Äď there it is.¬† That heavy weight sitting, waiting…¬† Your breathing drops…¬† Your heart rate present ‚Äď now seemingly louder…¬† You feel the energy expand outwards from this rock like weight.¬† Tears are forming behind your eyes, it’s coming…

You can‚Äôt hold back, nor would you want to.¬† You‚Äôve wanted to acknowledge this, to feel this pain, you‚Äôve just secretly been afraid.¬† The heavens pour down and you‚Äôre running with it. ¬†Tears are¬†falling down¬†your face just like melting ice in your hot hand on a Summers day… your stomach contracts & heaves, as does your whole body in unison.¬† Your mind is blank in this moment, you have found relief.¬† In complete surrender to your bodies natural seasonal change – this emotional state.

Grief sits there quietly, very still.  Just looking upon you gently, lovingly.  A companion who has your back.  You continue to cry, beginning to wonder if there will be an end to this heaviness?

 

Time has passed some.  You’ve witnessed new insights drop into your mind, ah ha’s of what has been held so contained.

Memories from your past floating up from your subconscious.  Making their transition from one realm, to the next.  You can see more clearly, what was hiding.

What you were so frightened of.  It is not so frightening anymore.  Only here.  Present.  Accepted.  Free.  No stories. It is free.  You are free.  You are releasing the old.  The old that has driven you to hide from yourself.  Your truth.

Grief sits.

Placing his hands on your heavy heart.  You feel the ache.  The physical ache that now resides where before, pain sat.

You feel different.  Tired.  Numb.  Sad.  Heavy.

The couch feels good.  Comfortable.

The convulsions have subsided, the tears are now dry.

Your head feels expanded, kinda headachy, like it has just been squashed, but blast open.

Your mind blank.

Sitting… ¬†Starring… ¬†Quiet… ¬†Peace…

Breathing now slow & consistent.  You look at grief, he holds your gaze in return.

‚ÄúHow are you friend?‚Ä̬† he asks.

You return his gaze and answer, ‚ÄúHow are YOU friend?‚ÄĚ

Grief has been heard.  He has been seen.  He sighs in his recognition.

Together you become one.

grief

My experience with Landmark & why I’ve come home to NZ

So I’m in New Zealand after a whirlwind of events sees me here.

About a week ago, I returned home to Victoria BC, after spending a weekend in Vancouver attending a 5 day course in the name in The Landmark Forum.

To my knowledge, millions of people around the world have participated in this course, so you may have even heard of it?

Working for lululemon athletica, it is something that every employee gains the opportunity to attend as it is seen as something of value for one’s personal development. Chip Wilson, founder of lululemon took away grand insights into the way he was as a person, which then affected how he ran his company. Since then, lululemon employees across the globe get to experience this course after having worked for the company for 8 months.

Lets cut to the chase. I was pretty curious about what this was going to offer me. After having completed 2 intensive diplomas ‚Äď each 2-4 years in duration to complete, one in Transformational Life Coaching & the other in Energy Healing ‚Äď I knew I couldn’t and didn’t know it all, but was naturally curious – what would this course offer me?

Landmark breaks life down into a really simple structure, which make you reflect on yourself. It invites you to look at all the stories you’ve created, which have made up your life, and ask yourself ‚Äúwhat is really real here‚ÄĚ?

I got this part. I’ve been self reflecting for a good 10 years now, and know myself pretty thoroughly. But this method that they were teaching, was just so bang on, that one had to ask, well, what really IS real?

I have come to know that I am Heidi. Maybe not from this planet, maybe from some other light galaxy, incarnated into a human form in this lifetime to support people waking up to who they are. I appear light, bright, happy & personable. My purpose in life is to show others that they are their own gurus, their own healers so to speak. I knew that heading into this course.

Coming out of it on Tuesday night. I was absolutely that light being. Feeling like I could inspire change with a single conversation. Feeling like I was a world changer. Which isn’t a terrible thing, however that power can contain ego if one is not to careful. Posting on social media¬†like a show off, running around your day like a mad fool, touching and inspiring all who subconsciously call for your help.

I returned to work on Wednesday, and was floating like a newly awakened being. ¬†I initiated very real conversations everywhere I stepped. A guest would comment on her weight, and I wouldn’t hesitate to get into the nitty gritty of what was happening and have her share what was in her way. You begin to notice how random strangers will drop the tinniest of hints which are a cry for help. They may not be aware of it, but to the listening ears, you hear every word & tone.

I had a short shift that day where I felt like I was on fire. ¬†Chatting to colleagues and guests, left right and centre. Stirring up change everywhere I went & with every conversation. I respected those who didn’t engage in conversation, and those that did – held the conversation as long as invited by them. ¬†It all felt very free flowing and intuitive. ¬†My lunch break rolled around and I suddenly wasn’t feeling well. I actually felt like I was going to die. Intense I know! So I called Neil and asked him to pick me up as this was how I was feeling.
> I won’t elaborate on this story & feeling of dying just yet. It leads into another existential story, ‚Äď I’ll share it another time, or save this for myself.

Fast forward to the next few days. What goes up, must come down. There is a balance to life, a polarity to everything. Hot/Cold, Light/Dark, Happy/Sad ‚Äď you get it…

With such an inspired high, there had to be the equivalent low. What I unknowingly had tapped into were memories from my past. My early childhood past. Now these are not horrible by any means. But lets just remind ourselves here, how does a child react when they are upset? What if he/she doesn’t get their own way? They throw a tantrum right? They express their anguish fully without hesitation! Lets just leave that example a seed of what was to come.

About 2-3 days of exploding like a child. Anger, Fear, Frustration, Sadness, Grief… No ego restrictions on releasing the ‘pain’ of my childhood. I didn’t know what was happening, and neither did my dear partner Neil.

He had come to his wits end with my behavior, and didn’t know what to do with me. He was scared & frightened – and understandingly so. ¬†He’d spoken to his friends and they advised him to simply take me to the nearest hospital ‚Äď get me dosed up on medication.

Neil knew I wouldn’t want that, so swallowed his pride (I imagine?) and called my Mum at home in NZ. Fast forward this part of the story, and here I am, with Neil & Mum, in Te Awamutu, New Zealand.

They have both been super worried about me, and want to know tangible results about why I acted out of character, so yesterday took me to a local Dr who listened to this story. He sent me for blood tests, in which the results should come through tomorrow some time.

There are so many other parts to this story which I will share in time, if the time is right.

Parts where I could hear various people, living & passed over, speaking through Neil to me. Lucid dream states where I saw various Spirit Animals show up to support the release of our pain. Even in awake states, various animals showed up to help us move through stuff. Animals such as Squirrels, Raccoons, Ravens, Dogs, a marvelous spider who weaved his magical web to protect our home, and even a Cougar making itself seen throughout Victoria that weekend.

I thought I was a shaman, moving various rocks and such around my home, orchestrating a change in the world, and a healing of the planet. I chanted, sang, drummed and played my Spirit Flute as needed, and heard the neighbors drum & tap in support of something they’d long wished for. I dreamt that I was one of 4 shamans overseen by one head shaman who would eventually invite us to his home in California to discuss these dreams & experiences, and go through an initiation process.

It has been a wild ride, and that description doesn’t even cut it.

The human brain is wild and mysterious, and after this experience, I really don’t think it should be pushed the way that it was at Landmark. I am speaking for myself exclusively. I cannot speak for others.

My takeaway from this, is DO NOT hurry your personal development! Be gentle, be compassionate, be nurturing, be LOVING. LOVE yourself as you would love another, how you would want to be loved in the world. Be that & that is all that you need to be. LOVE.

As a side note here; if you are experiencing any challenges based on dealing with your past, please reach out to me for support.  I understand how confusing it can be & how those around you may not understand.  I am available via Skype & Email at this stage.  heidi.firth | heidi.firth11@gmail.com

My experience at The Landmark Forum

Canada vs Australia vs Bali and The Universal Plan

Summer is slowly on her way out, and Fall is beginning to make his way onto the scene.

It is almost without warning that the long hot days have disappeared, being replaced with continual rain & drizzle.

I feel ripped off!

All the Victorian Canadians are talking about what an awesome Summer it has been, and that we’ve been really lucky.

I don’t share their perspective.

I am grateful, don’t get me wrong. ¬†But I have been spoilt. ¬†Spoilt with the long HOT Summers that Sydney Australia knows too well, and I know full well the anticipation they are feeling right now as they¬†enter their Spring – such enthusiasm to be shedding the brief warm layers they’ve worn over their short cool spell.

Can you tell I miss Australia?

I miss the land down under with its Meat Pies, Vegemite Sandwiches, continual hot hot Summers and warm crystal oceans. ¬†Warm Oceans – now there’s a foreign concept to this side of the planet. ¬†I was never a water baby, but now that that privilege has been removed from me this Summer, I suddenly want to be!

Memories and visions of Australia have been dancing through my minds eye this last week. Rising alongside of the grief I mentioned in my last blog post here. ¬†I can’t tell what this all means. ¬†Part of me thinks I am grieving, letting go of the attachment I have to such a rich sun drenched land. ¬†The other part wonders if this is a sign that I should return?

I know that I am undertaking a new beginning in my life right now.  I know that I am ready to make a home and prepare for work that I need to do in the world.  But right now, the only home that I know is the one within.  The one that I have been fighting to come back to, stronger and stronger everyday, since I embarked on my inner journey in 2005.  Some 10 years ago.

This isn’t a bad thing, don’t get me wrong. ¬†In fact its a fantastic thing! ¬†To know that within you is your home, what can really compare to that? ¬†To feel comfortable in your own skin, wherever you go. ¬†Much like a snail with its house on its back, so are we, with our homes in our hearts. ¬†It seems the further and further we are from ourselves, the more we accumulate in our environments, and the closer and more connected we are to our hearts, the less we need in our environments.

Imagine if we all came from our hearts Рhow different the world would be.  Not just from a materialistic viewpoint, but literally living from our hearts Рbeing guided by that which knows our path, each and every moment, of every day.

See this is the thing. ¬†My content. ¬†My story that I am sharing to you, really doesn’t matter. ¬†Its simply that, a story. One that my head, my ego has created to entertain my mind, to give it something to do, because if it doesn’t have something to do, then what is there? ¬†Space. ¬†Big ole SPACE. ¬†Space for the Universe to drop right on in with greater insights and meaning than the mind can fathom.

I love reminding myself of this truth.  As it reminds me that there is something far bigger than what we think we are doing.  It reminds me that I am supported beyond measure, that there is a grand plan for me, and if I can just step out of the way, I will be shown this plan, step by step.

I have these words within my meditation shrine;

“What you can plan is to small for you to live”

It reminds me there are far greater things that I am destined for, things that I cannot even fathom!  Which is so freaken exciting!

And so my story, the one that I began writing previously to these words, reads;
“I feel split between being¬†in Canada where my cute boy is, setting up our home & creating a family & life. ¬†Returning to Sydney where I know the sand is warm, golden & the blue skies go on for days. ¬†Travelling to Bali to embark on a type of quest, jump off the metaphorical cliff, and begin to make tracks in the direction of the horizon. ¬†All are beautiful options, and all intrigue and excite me. ¬†Is it possible to have my cake and eat it too? ¬†I am discovering that this is true and absolutely possible, however right now, I feel this split.”

This is my story.  The story my head is filling itself with.  The distraction from the space within that is ready, receptive to its next command from the grand Universe.  I love words.  I love stories.  They are interesting.  They are life.  But when there is work to do, a purpose, the command becomes a greater excitement, fulfillment than the stories we create, share and elaborate on.

Manly Beach

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In case you were wondering what answer landed in the space…

BALI! ¬†Here I come…

Why do I cough and how to shift it

My life externally, is slowly beginning to change, and it is a result of me changing on the inside.

It has been a simple perspective shift that has allowed me to see my external environment differently.

I am finding that I have a deeper gratitude for what already exists. ¬†I knew I needed to move closer towards this. ¬†I could view it while I was in the chaos and destruction of change. ¬†My head would remind me that I needed deeper gratitude. ¬†I could see that I wasn’t giving thanks to all that I have present in my life. ¬†I was merely looking at what I didn’t have, or what I wanted to change.

For example, Neil gives me pretty much anything I want. ¬†I’m not a materialistic person by any means, so its not like I go shopping on his Credit Card. ¬†But I know, if I want anything, I could ask him, and he’d almost give it to me.

He pays the mortgage, he pays the utilities, he pays for the greater percentage of food, all meals out, gas for the car I drive. ¬†He pretty much covers it all. ¬†And here’s me – saying – “I’m not happy”. ¬†Whilst from the outside looking in, one can judge me to be spoilt, lucky, what do I have to be unhappy about, ‘hard done by – as Neil once said. ¬†And yes, I would agree with you. ¬†But it is also VERY important to not undermine, the importance of acknowledging how we feel, despite our environments.

Once upon a time, I had a female client when I was a Personal Trainer. ¬†I viewed her as having the world. ¬†She was a well educated psychologist. ¬†Her husband was (is) a world renowned Author, earning money beyond what most would know, and she was well taken care of. ¬†She owned a Mini Cooper, she shopped regularly at lululemon and other high end stores. ¬†She practiced Yoga daily, had a wealth of friends and family, and basically lived this charmed life, by my judgement. ¬†But little did I know, she wasn’t happy. ¬†Some years later I learnt that tragically, she took her own life. She’d become depressed and felt she was a burden on her husband and those loved ones around her.

This story is a prime example of how we can so easily negate how we are feeling deep down, despite our personal life circumstances.

I believe one of the challenges of our time, is living in this materialistic world, where we are buying more and more things, to fill the void within us.  We pass our emotions off, saying #firstworldproblems, and compare what we have to Joe Bloggs down the road, reminding ourselves we have more than most.  Which may be true, but we fail to acknowledge that deep yearning within us, that needs our attention dearly.

Without our attention, we continue to fill our “god made hole with god knows what” – to quote my counselling teacher – Deborah Womack.

I have been listening to Dr Wayne Dyer speak all morning – and if you’re not aware of his teachings, best you introduce yourself to him. ¬†Sadly he left his body last week, moving on to his next adventure – which he was very excited about. ¬†He has left a legacy behind him, so you can still awaken your soul by listening and watching. ¬†Wayne spent one year, practicing detachment. ¬†Letting go of those material things in his life, that took him further away from himself.

He says “we enter this life with nothing, NoThing, and we leave with nothing, NoThing”.

Notice when we let go of our favorite possessions, food or other, how we might feel.  We can distract ourselves SO greatly by focusing on items outside of ourselves.

So to come back to what I was saying, I could distract myself by¬†looking at my external situation; Neil supports my life, and pays for most of my expenses, and use my ego to make myself feel temporarily better, or I can acknowledge how I’m really feeling underlying this, and explore, what is the real reason I am unhappy?

This was the journey I chose to make.

I have been¬†acknowledging my sadness, which turned into grief, which for me, has turned into a sore throat, and coughing at night. ¬†When we don’t release our emotions completely,¬†¬†they get trapped in our bodies, and we unconsciously chose to release them that way, ie – this cold I have created.

If we all began to turn our attention inwards, to that inner calling, those deep desires, the language of the soul, we would embark of the greatest journey to date.  We would connect with something greater than ourselves, and flow in our purpose of life, without effort, with grace & divinity.

It may start with a choice to detach from your addictions and material desires, it may start with a meditation practice.  However you choose to start.  Start.

No big things are created without one small step towards it.

Dr Wayne Dyer | why do I cough?

Oh life you interesting monkey…

Oh life, you are an interesting monkey at times…

Today I share my Vlog about what space I’ve been in, and why it is a necessary part of growth & development…

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

With love, always <3

That awkward moment when you share what you’re really thinking…

Journaling has been one of the most useful TOOLS I have used over the past 10 years to support me in gaining clarity & understanding through challenging times.

In the beginning, it was the one place I could go to be totally unedited, 100% ME…

I would write anything I wanted, and express my deepest pains, fears, joys, confusion.

In a bid to gain clarity yesterday, here are the words I wrote, and the conversation I had with myself…

I share these with you to show you that we are all working life out, figuring out the journey and feeling tough stuff…

Journal share – 12 April 2015

I feel like I’m dismantling. Falling apart. Disassembling. Every thought seems old and untrue. It is an old framework that is breaking down in order to rebuild anew I dreamt I was in an old house/chateau last night that was doing just this, falling apart from the inside. I managed to escape from inside of it, to run and tell the others. They got on auto emergency fix it to try to repair the inner foundations. But I think it was already to far gone.
I feel like this.
It is ok.
But it is also a slight challenge. I feel like falling apart. I feel on the verge of a breakdown/breakthrough. My body aches and I think is trying to find its new configuration. The pain in my body has become a 6-7 out of 10. Neil did an amazing job of massaging it yesterday. It feels different, but a bit bruised. In my mind/world I seem to not be happy with anything. Like it doesn’t fit anymore I am aware of being ready for a new way of being. Maybe more lightness. More open. More love. I wrote open without being conscious of that. More creative. More fun. More flowing with each passing moment. There are hints of this one the horizon. Just at arms reach. Sounds like a BIG transformation.
By when do I feel this will be complete. 5 days. In time for the new moon ūüôā
Life will feel NEW.
INTERESTING and an adventure again.

But for now?
Keep practicing self care. love, being. grounded. nature. meditation. earth. nature.
The things I know. 

I please ask that if you are feeling drawn to reach out and comfort me, I invite you to check in with yourself, and ask how you need to comfort YOU. We are all mirrors for one another.

I am well, and being comforted wholey and fully by myself.

With love. Always

journal writing for mental clarity
My writing expressions

 

What I did after my partners Mother died

I am drawn to write about an interesting topic, I can’t say I’ve seen to much written on.

How do you deal/cope/work with, your partner, when he or she is dealing with the loss of a parent, or loved one?

This is coming up for me in my life right now, and I have reached a conclusion that I’m comfortable with, but thought it might be interesting to start a conversation.

My partner has been dealing with the loss of his Mother.

She passed away so suddenly, 65 years young, on 25 August 2014, not to long before I moved to Canada.

He has been the sole Executor of her Estate.  Dealing with everything from the sale of her house, sale of her car, all of her finances, every single belonging in her home Рincluding all photo albums, even down to his old baby clothing and toys.  Everything.

It has only really been 2-3 weeks since we returned from Ontario, packing up all her possessions and shipping them back here to British Columbia.  That is 7 months that he has been responsible for ALL of the above duties.  7 Months!  Where is his time to grieve within that?

He has dealt with a niggly cough and a runny nose here and there, but really…

What does grief look like? ¬†Does it have a structure, and shape? ¬†I’m pretty positive it doesn’t.

Then it is only understandable his recent behavior and who he is choosing to be right now.

The past few weekends he has had fairly huge nights out with the boys, ending with a night on the couch, either here or at a friends.  There have been long working days, facebook & internet trawling during non business hours, the odd snappy comment, all disbursed amoungst the odd moment of being.  When these are out of reach, he is snoring wherever his head lays.

Perhaps this is grief for him?

Now, I’ve been going through my process of judging this. ¬†Initially thinking “come on! deal with your emotions!”

Just like with my clients, I cannot have an agenda for how he chooses to deal with his.  But internally, I have had.

What comes up for me, is I miss all the beautiful interactions that I share with him, when he is present and free from his pain. ¬†Loving intimacy, fun & laughter, joy & playfulness. ¬†It can be easy for me to point the finger and judge him thinking;¬†this, that, or the other isn’t happening, point my finger at him to deal with his¬†stuff!

But this is a relationship, sometimes there will be challenging ebb & flow between joy, sadness, laughter and discomfort.

As he disappears into his world of distraction, perhaps this is an invitation for me to lean into my power and strength and support him. Loosing my agenda to what I wish for, and simply being in the moment of discomfort with him.  I have been doing this on occasion, and notice it does require strength and grande self care.  I often need to excuse myself for walks, meditation or time out when I need Рthis has been SO important.

I am acknowledging this more as I write.  This is not the work that returns a pat on the back, or large shinny accolade.  It is truly life and who we choose to be for each other through its various stages.

After my years of self development work, learning to love myself and take care of myself, I am only too aware how selfish this has made me. Being selfish is not a bad thing, though when it stops us from loving and caring for those around us, then we need to re-establish new patterns for being.  I think this is my current lesson.

One day the tables may turn, and I might find myself in his position, with him feeling the same way I am right now.

Life and it’s magical Ebb & Flows.

dealing-with-grief
Neil, Andrew & their Mom

 

 

How have you dealt with emotional challenges within your close relationships? ¬†I’d LOVE to hear your experiences.

Please leave a comment below to share a discussion xx

what am I doing with my life?

It’s now been just over 3 weeks since I left Australia. ¬†I have well & truly landed in Canadia town…

My head has been an array of thoughts, creating confusion, I have been trying to figure it all out, but you know what I’ve learnt. ¬†I can’t. ¬†I can’t figure shit out. ¬†I just have to let it be, it is what it is.

And this is one of the reasons, I think I caught myself a cold. ¬†For 3 days now, I’ve been full up of a running nose, headaches, tickly throat, and today, add coughing into the mix.

This has been such a huge transition, I think I needed to get out of my own way and let it be.

What I have been processing is that all that I knew is now in the past. ¬†Any and all routines are gone, any friends I saw regularly, gone. ¬†The routine of work now complete. ¬†The co-workers, familiar faces, no more. ¬†The networks, the communities, hobbies I connected with, no more. Everything is in the past. ¬†The canvas is blank, awaiting my next brush stroke. ¬†What do I want that to be? ¬†Do I want it to look the same as before? ¬†Or am I ready for something different? ¬†To embrace the new that I’ve been growing into?

I’m just now back from a walk, isn’t walking great – I think it allows an opportunity for new insights to drop in, for things to get clear.. ¬†What occurred to me, I spent MONTHS preparing for my departure from OZ, and now that I’m here, all that energetic preparation needs to root itself right?! ¬†As if I can just keep on keeping on once I landed here in Canada. ¬†The momentum of my energy needed to change, no longer preparing to leave, changing to grounding and rooting a new foundation. ¬†Bali was just a break, a holiday from the preparing.

Landing into a new country, semi new relationship, the new energies of that relationship, moving in together/sharing a room/bed/home, new area, new climate, new culture… ¬†Any wonder I feel the way that I do.

One can’t think their way through a change like this…

While I’ve been dancing my way through the above, intertwined in there also, is the million dollar questions of “what am I doing to do with my life!?” ¬†I have followed my heart, and moved to another country, on the opposite side of the world, now what? ¬†The funny thing is, I don’t feel like doing anything. ¬†I don’t feel like joining the masses, into the work force. ¬†Into that false sense of security, joining society, pretending that I’m happy, that I want to live my life this way. ¬†In Bali, magical Bali, I really aligned¬†to a new way of being. ¬†Of how disconnected we have become from the earth. ¬†Since when was it ok to rape the planet of food & resources and not give back to it? ¬†Since when was it ok to not understand the cycles of life & to carry out living as if what was really going on doesn’t matter.

My dear friend Simon, who is the Chef at Bali Silent Retreat – the retreat I stayed at for 2 weeks, is very passionate about using food that is grown local, that supports the locals and what is taken, is given back. ¬†Since my stay in Bali, I find myself now looking at the labels with even more scrutiny than I ever did. ¬†Looking at where each product has come from. ¬†Was it imported, or is it local. ¬†If it’s not local, I don’t want to know about it. ¬†Do you know what of your favorite foods have been imported??? ¬†It really puts things into a different perspective. ¬†To consider that foods journey to your side of the world. ¬†What labor went into it’s production, what fuel resources were used to get it to you. ¬†What the cost of this food is to you, vs the locals who have lived on it for centuries. ¬†Take this¬†Quinoa seed story for example.

Simons Land

(This image is of Simons’ land in Bali at Bali Silent Retreat. ¬†It is rich & full of unique structures that support the growth and production of food, the land, the community. ¬†It maintains a cycle that will continue to support all, without one benefiting over the other. ¬†It is simply magic to behold.)

I now no longer want¬†to be a part of the problem, I want to be a part of the solution, so I don’t see how I can continue to plug myself back into the system, the matrix if you will, and continue to pretend that I don’t know, to not take personal responsibility. ¬†Because to continue pretending that I don’t know is now no¬†longer an option. ¬†I am a self responsible individual, I am here to make a difference, to be a part of the solution.

So once I’ve done landing my energy here in this beautiful Northern Hemisphere, and I feel ready to do what it is that I’m meant to be doing on this earth, I wonder where my spirit will guide me?

Watch this space….