My reflections this morning on my self created belief that if I’m being me, no one will like me…
Today I answered a bunch of questions for a fellow Amazing Life + Biz Academy Member, for the opportunity to be featured on her blog as part of her Soul-Full Sunday Interviews. I have just read one of Carries’ blog posts, and it appears we are both Sexual Abuse thrivers. I use the description thrive, as Survivor does not feel like a fit for me anymore.
I feel that I now THRIVE, that my story is simply that, something that shaped me into the amazing woman I have become in the world today. I no longer resonate with that story, however I still wish to share parts of it, as I wish to show other women that there is a way forward from the darkness of your secret.
I share these answers with you, as I shared them with Carrie, as there is a message to be heard. A message of inspiration. Showing another way for women who have experienced the pain that abuse can cause.
It is time to rise up into the being that you are here to be in this world. It is time.
How are you following your life path (dharma)?
In each moment I am aware of who I’m choosing to be in the world. I try to make sure that I am present with each & every person I come into contact with. I take personal responsibility for my body & being and trust by doing so, that I teach others that it is possible for them also.
I recently started working at lululemon athletica here in Canada. I love that the girls I’m working with thought that I was 26! I’m actually 36 and ½! I feel like that’s a pretty awesome testament to me!
Have you always had this calling? If not, was it a sudden/gradual shift?
I believe I have. I fit into that known story of not fitting in at school. My story begun with learning I didn’t have a Dad at the age of 5, then at the age of 8 – was sexually abused by my Mums boyfriend. I took on the beliefs that I wasn’t good enough to have a Dad & in the second example – shut down my emotions as I didn’t know how to deal with the situation.
It’s only in hindsight I see that I spent my teens & early 20’s ‘running’ from myself. I left my home country of New Zealand at the age of 20, from here life was hard and fast. I partied hard, engaged in recreational drugs, exercised like a mad woman & was determined my body defined how I felt about myself.
I entered a body building competition in 2006 – I spent 1 year working towards that goal. After competition & a Vision Quest I completed as part of my Life Coaching studies, my world fell apart.
This intention of my quest was ‘to shine’, I went through a very dark knight of the soul with depression for 2.5 years. This forced me to acknowledge the pain that I’d kept hidden from my childhood that I had been running from.
As I pulled through – I learnt that there was so much wonder & beauty in the world. I knew I had a purpose in this life that involved inspiring others to heal from their pain.
What did you have to give up by honoring your path?
I’ve let go of a lot!
Fear, Doubt, Worry, Anxiety, Pain, Lack…
I’d say in aligning to something greater that feels good, I’ve chosen to let go of the things that haven’t supported me feeling good.
This might look like; big nights out, binge drinking, recreational drugs, gossip, TV, reading Newspapers/Magazines, eating processed foods, sugar, non organic meat, obsessive exercise habits…
The physical things I mentioned just fell away as I changed. It wasn’t about letting go of them because I thought I needed to. It’s was about aligning to something greater, about making the CHOICE to FEEL good. To feel GREAT.
What have you learned/gained by remembering your true nature (honoring your path)?
That I am unlimited… I have everything that I could ever need, in this moment & every moment. All I need to do is align to the vibration of what I want, and I will attract what I need, or the steps to move closer towards attracting what I need.
That it is an absolute CHOICE to feel good. It doesn’t just happen, it is something that you need to work at. Chose to eat healthy nutritional food, chose healthy movement habits, choice healthy work & social environments, chose healthy thoughts…
What is one thing you do every week to honor your innermost authentic Self (connection to Source)?
I do a lot of things. I LOVE nature…. I will take time out and visit the local woods and breathe, probably even hug & talk to the trees there.
I will watch the insects and birds & notice how they might invite me in & let each other know that I’m there.
I meditate daily. I give thanks to Great Spirit and acknowledge its existence.
What is one treat you can share with us to bring along on our own path towards freedom?
Oh SO many…. But one.
Um, I would invite you to observe your mind.
Watch your thoughts.
Sit in quiet contemplation, or meditation and observe.
Or, if you don’t feel ready (yet), to start. Journal.
Write. Write. Write.
Write unedited on a blank sheet of paper. Just allow anything that enters your mind to be expressed onto that sheet. Give yourself 20 minutes of pure uninterrupted time to express your minds thoughts.
What is your relationship with money, abundance?
Mine hasn’t always been what it is today.
I grew up in a house where the belief, “bloody kids, money doesn’t grow on trees!” was the regular education.
Today things, (my beliefs), and my life are much different.
Today I share ONE simple shift that is absolutely POSSIBLE for you, that will change your perspective around money, FOREVER!
Poo, farts & Gluten Intolerance…
Do you have issues with any of these;
+ Dealing with any of the line up in the image to your right
+ Feeling uncomfortable tension inside your gut & intestines – giving you that constant sense of bloat
+ Being that person at dinners out who has to ensure there is no Gluten in any of the dishes.
Does your stomach bloat at the very smell of bread?
Are you all to familiar with any or all of the above?
Does your poop look like any of the images except Number 7?
Well, I’m here to say, that it doesn’t need to be this way! No-siree-bob!
I’ve been there, done that. And I’m out on the other end, living with Number 7 once to twice a day, and life feels great!
Obviously it wasn’t always this way, otherwise this blog post wouldn’t exist.
It took me a good 1.5 years to transform what needed to shift in order to align to my path of power.
So I want to yell from the rooftops, that you can do it too!
It all started with diet eliminations. The first being when I removed all forms of processed foods, sugars, carbohydrates from my diet in preparation for my first Womens Figure Body Building Competition.
This opened up a whole world of awareness for me. How food affected my energy, well-being and my gut. I learnt very quickly that eating bread for me at the time, made me sluggish, bloated & totally uncomfortable.
I put myself on a Gluten Intolerant diet, and that was that. I must’ve followed that for 4 years, not thinking anything of it. As Gluten free diets are ‘normal’ in our world today.
It was during this time, that one week I had an ache in the side of my torso that would not release. I knew going to a Doctor wouldn’t be my way forward, so I asked Spirit to guide me to someone who could. After a week, I found myself walking past a Traditional Chinese Medicine Clinic and was guided to walk in.
The rest is history, but now on the other side of this journey – I can see how I absolutely needed to address some home truths about what was being held in my beautiful body, and how addressing them, transformed my health and well being, beyond what simply a change in diet could. A change in diet was part of mine, as was the exploration of stored unprocessed emotions and old beliefs held within my physical body & mindset.
Transformation happens when all layers & levels of being are addressed. Physical, mental and emotional.
When they are, the result is beyond what one could imagine prior to the journey.
I now offer packages that support individuals embarking on the healing of their digestive issues that will see them right through to the stage of completion and transformation.
Ongoing support is recommended for the changes and emotions that arise for individuals.
These sessions are available by Skype and Distance Healings. One on One sessions are available if you live in Victoria, BC, Canada.
Contact me at email@example.com, or ask your questions in the comments section below…
Sending so much love to your soul & beautiful digestive system within these words. <3
Here is me,
Sharing with you my voice,
Todays reflections post magical coaching session this morning.
You know you are unlimited!
It is timeless within you.
It is the inner calling that pulls you forward.
Rise with it & shine like the light you were born to be!
Today I decided to start my own 30 Day Vlog Challenge
I want to overcome my own judgments of myself
– share how I live
– gain a greater reach
– practice my speaking
– share my weirdness
– share my knowledge & wisdom
– inspire greater health
– reach people who need what I’m sharing
– my judgement of how I look
– needing to be perfect
– my image
– repetitive ‘ya knows’ & ‘ums’
– greater speaking clarity
– speak succinctly
– share whats on my mind
– bring out more of my personality
– confidence speaking on video
– allow spirit to speak
– FUN & JOY
Yesterday arvo I fell into a bit of a blah hole.
I’ve started doing the whole comparing myself against others, and what gifts they’re bringing to the world.
I am watching so many successful women who are running their online businesses, who are brimming with success and positive stories of earning 6 figures per month, doing what they love, supporting their partner to create their dream life and so on, and so on.
It’s silly, because I absolutely know, that I am on the right track and that I’m perfectly where I need to be, with the perfect amount of resources at my finger tips right now.
I’m even SO fortunate to have a wonderful, beautiful, loving, supportive partner who believes in me.
So much so, he gives me the space I need to write, to have time to myself. He even invested the money towards my Leonie Dawson Life + Biz Academy membership for my birthday.
But still, I follow these inspiring Goddesses, and yesterday fell in a hole of self depreciating, unhelpful thoughts.
The latest ‘trend’ offering, happening in the wonderful world of entrepreneurs is BSchool. I must have heard about this 2-3 times before I got the message, and clicked the link to visit Marie Forleo and find out what all the hype was about..
BSchool is a online 8 week business course, guiding business entrepreneurs to create the lives they were meant to live and a business that whole heartedly supports this.
The testimonial stories are phenomenal, the affiliate bonuses are amazing, the reaping of benefits for your hard work are as outlined earlier; 6-7 figure incomes each month, doing what you love, travelling the world, supporting your partner + stacks of others. It’s easy to be sweapt up in this online movement, and I for one am hooked, line & sinker!
The catch to this amazing course is, that it is a mere $2k, which in the sceam of earning 6-7 figures a month is spare change, but to the budding beginner starting their business journey, $2k is everything.
So, here’s me. Sitting in this category nicely. Newbie business owner, the world at my finger tips. Grand aspirations for changing the world. Passion to boot. A message larger than life, with vehicle (my website) that is currently in upgrade.
My heart (chakra) is literally aching, and has been for the last week or two. I am ready! I am more than ready!
I want so badly want to heal the world and guide woman back to the joy of life, who they innately are.
But again, in this, I am perfectly where I need to be.
I said to Neil last night. I have everything I need. I show up for myself daily. I do what is required, and at the end of the day, I feel good about the tasks that I have completed. But because my efforts are not yet being heard by an audience, it does punch the ego. My ego. It really asks one to continue to show up each and every day.
What more can I be doing? How do I get my message clearer. Who is my muse? How do I reach them?
All valid questions.
Still, soul says, its all G H.
So after watching beautiful Sarah of the Fifth Element share her honesty and experience of BSchool, I will take my ego and heart, and have a rest.
I am sitting in my PJs on the couch and taking time out for me today.
I am enough. I am doing enough. All is perfect. If BSchool was where I am at, it would show up, I would show up. I get the message ego… I have enough. I have everything I could need.