Summer is slowly on her way out, and Fall is beginning to make his way onto the scene.
It is almost without warning that the long hot days have disappeared, being replaced with continual rain & drizzle.
I feel ripped off!
All the Victorian Canadians are talking about what an awesome Summer it has been, and that we’ve been really lucky.
I don’t share their perspective.
I am grateful, don’t get me wrong. But I have been spoilt. Spoilt with the long HOT Summers that Sydney Australia knows too well, and I know full well the anticipation they are feeling right now as they enter their Spring – such enthusiasm to be shedding the brief warm layers they’ve worn over their short cool spell.
Can you tell I miss Australia?
I miss the land down under with its Meat Pies, Vegemite Sandwiches, continual hot hot Summers and warm crystal oceans. Warm Oceans – now there’s a foreign concept to this side of the planet. I was never a water baby, but now that that privilege has been removed from me this Summer, I suddenly want to be!
Memories and visions of Australia have been dancing through my minds eye this last week. Rising alongside of the grief I mentioned in my last blog post here. I can’t tell what this all means. Part of me thinks I am grieving, letting go of the attachment I have to such a rich sun drenched land. The other part wonders if this is a sign that I should return?
I know that I am undertaking a new beginning in my life right now. I know that I am ready to make a home and prepare for work that I need to do in the world. But right now, the only home that I know is the one within. The one that I have been fighting to come back to, stronger and stronger everyday, since I embarked on my inner journey in 2005. Some 10 years ago.
This isn’t a bad thing, don’t get me wrong. In fact its a fantastic thing! To know that within you is your home, what can really compare to that? To feel comfortable in your own skin, wherever you go. Much like a snail with its house on its back, so are we, with our homes in our hearts. It seems the further and further we are from ourselves, the more we accumulate in our environments, and the closer and more connected we are to our hearts, the less we need in our environments.
Imagine if we all came from our hearts – how different the world would be. Not just from a materialistic viewpoint, but literally living from our hearts – being guided by that which knows our path, each and every moment, of every day.
See this is the thing. My content. My story that I am sharing to you, really doesn’t matter. Its simply that, a story. One that my head, my ego has created to entertain my mind, to give it something to do, because if it doesn’t have something to do, then what is there? Space. Big ole SPACE. Space for the Universe to drop right on in with greater insights and meaning than the mind can fathom.
I love reminding myself of this truth. As it reminds me that there is something far bigger than what we think we are doing. It reminds me that I am supported beyond measure, that there is a grand plan for me, and if I can just step out of the way, I will be shown this plan, step by step.
I have these words within my meditation shrine;
“What you can plan is to small for you to live”
It reminds me there are far greater things that I am destined for, things that I cannot even fathom! Which is so freaken exciting!
And so my story, the one that I began writing previously to these words, reads;
“I feel split between being in Canada where my cute boy is, setting up our home & creating a family & life. Returning to Sydney where I know the sand is warm, golden & the blue skies go on for days. Travelling to Bali to embark on a type of quest, jump off the metaphorical cliff, and begin to make tracks in the direction of the horizon. All are beautiful options, and all intrigue and excite me. Is it possible to have my cake and eat it too? I am discovering that this is true and absolutely possible, however right now, I feel this split.”
This is my story. The story my head is filling itself with. The distraction from the space within that is ready, receptive to its next command from the grand Universe. I love words. I love stories. They are interesting. They are life. But when there is work to do, a purpose, the command becomes a greater excitement, fulfillment than the stories we create, share and elaborate on.
In case you were wondering what answer landed in the space…
BALI! Here I come…